Optimal Randomity

I cannot for the life of me remember when or where I first said that phrase - "optimal randomity" - which is bugging me right now like you would NOT believe. At any rate, it basically means "as random as we can get," which is just about what this post is. I don't do bullets often, but variety is the spice of life, n'est pas?

• I was re-reading The Tempest recently, and there's a part where Prospero wants his daughter Miranda to go to sleep, so that he can make plans with Ariel in secret. So he basically says, "You're feeling very tired, your eyes are heavy," to which she responds, "Gee, you're right," and falls asleep. How many of you parents / childcare providers wish you had that power?

• I saw a Pantene commercial the other day, and was reminded why I never ever use the stuff. Pantene sounds like panties way too much for me to ever put it on my head. BAD college memories there...

• You know what amazes me about little kids? How they can just suck you into a conversation. This little one ran up to me the other day in Safeway and said, "You know what?" and I said, "What?" and then it was over for me. It's like before you know it, you're knee-deep in a conversation about their most recent Pokemon trading card acquisitions, and you have NO IDEA how you got there.

• The other day in class, one of my students said something about a yeti. Unsure if other students knew what the word meant, I said, "And what's a yeti?" hoping the kid would quickly define it. He said, "A Canadian." The sad thing is that I have no idea if he was joking or not.

• This stellar opening was recently found in one of my colleagues' student essays: "Discontent is the first step of action in many cases. War, politics, society, even home furnishing." Who knew?

• I was so proud of myself a few days ago for covering a baking sheet in foil before using it. This way, I figured, I could just throw the aluminum foil away and not worry about washing the baking sheet. After using it, I threw the foil away and decided to let the sheet cool a bit before putting it away. When I returned to the kitchen a couple hours later, Nora was sleeping on it. By which I mean she was shedding on it. So much for not washing it.

• Mixing lemonade and orange juice results in very sour orange juice. Don't try it.

• Is it bad that I spend all week waiting for Thursday so that I can watch "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" How come we're giving complete idiots hundreds of thousands of dollars every episode, but really intelligent people on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" and "Jeopardy!" get maybe ten or twenty thousand? And how do I get on the dumb show?

• Five times in the last three days I've been sitting quietly in my room, lying in bed with my laptop, and one of the cats has bolted out from under my bed to meow at the closed door. What the- How do they get there when I'm not looking?

• Other than one incomplete, I got straight A's last quarter! Can you believe it? I was just hoping to PASS - getting straight A's is like winning the lottery after a death row pardon. Woot!
  

• Speaking of that incomplete, though, I'm so sick of schoolwork hanging over my head. Can I just be done already? Please? I am soooo counting down the days until June 17...

• I love this blog. And all of you for hanging out to read it. And if I ever make it over 30 comments in a post, I have promised some of you to "do the happy dance like nobody's business." I even promised one of you that I would film it and post it on YouTube. :-P
  

Thus end the bullets. Come on, I know you have a comment to make. You can't tell me you don't have anything to say about ANY of those bullet points. Pantene, panties? Lemonade, orange juice? Yeti, Canadian? Straight A's? Nothing?