Thursday, March 29, 2007

An Odd Thursday

No Thursday Thirteen for me today. It'll probably be back next week - I do have some ideas brewing - but I just wasn't in the mood for any of them today. What can I say? I have to blog what I'm in the mood for blogging. Today, I'm in a photoblog kind of mood.

Okay, so I'll come out and admit to you right now that I had some serious concerns about posting these pictures. Why? Because I'm afraid you'll all think I'm totally weird and not want to have anything to do with me or my blog anymore. So before I show you my new pictures, I have to give a few points of explanation.
  1. While I've never been big on denying myself what I want, I've become even more indulgent over the last few months. It's pretty damn hard for me to feel really happy these days, so if I feel like something will help me feel good, I'm generally pretty willing to give it a try. No matter how weird it may be.
  2. I'm having a good time experimenting with photos, and most of my favorite photos thus far have been of people. So I wanted to do a bit more of a serious photo shoot, to actually experiment with some forethought and planning. (As opposed to just capturing magical moments by accident.)
  3. Not being very experienced yet, I was a bit nervous to call up anyone I know and say, "Hey, want to come over so I can do your hair and makeup, give you stage direction, and take lots of photos of you?" I mean, that's weird, right? Plus, it was already 10pm on a Wednesday night.
So, given all of that... Can you see where this is going? Yes, I am weird.

I held a photo shoot last night. I did my makeup (not in my normal makeup, but in makeup I specifically thought would be interesting in photos), did my hair (again, in a photo-interesting way), and held a photo shoot... with myself.

Sigh. I am an odd duck. I know. You're not going to run away screaming now, are you?

*crickets chirp*

Are you?

*a tumbleweed rolls by*

Well fine, be that way. But for any quiet folks still reading, here are some of my favorite photos to come out of the shoot:

I should wear my hair like this more often.

Turns out I can still smile after all...

... who knew?

This is my "I can't believe I'm actually doing this" face.

And of course, no evening Chez Lara would be complete without tears.

I like the vulnerability here, and the way the light plays off the wetness by my eye.

Nora licks my tears away. Thanks, pretty girl.

Looking ahead to an uncertain future.

Tear-stained, but surviving, and with a hint of a smile even.

Who says raccoon eyes have to be a bad thing? I like this picture.

I can be pretty silly sometimes.

This is my new favorite picture of me I think. It shows the remnants of tears, but it shows strength, too. And yes, maybe even beauty, in its own way.

So... anyone want to volunteer as a model for future shoots?


Anonymous said...

you are so completely adorable...i'm so glad you posted them.

you can shoot me anytime :)That sounded a lot more normal in my head!

Still Jill B said...

Those are SO great! Good shoot, good braveness (I'm sure that's the correct way to say that idea), all around great. You could do my makeup and hair... oh. Maybe not.

Anonymous said...

Great photo shoot!! Of course, you had a beautiful model to work with. Think about a new career in photography!!

I'll answer those questions soon

Kara said...

look at how beautiful you are! Next time I'm in CA, I'll email you my number just so you can call me and have me over and do my hair and makeup and take pictures like that.

aMom2E said...

That was amazing! I really love teh pictures! So tell me this (and again, might be a stupid question, but I want to know), do you take the pics into a mirror or do you use a timer? How did you do that? Thanks for your blog! I love it!

Jennifer said...

I love the photos. You did a great job with that. Taking pictures of yourself is very hard...I have tried it too.

Dallas Blue said...

you are so beautiful. GOSH.

i LOVE the last one. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. maybe i will frame it and put it on my wall.



Anonymous said...

I completely ADORE this entry! I need to stop stealing things from you and grow my own brain already, but DARNIT! I really want to do this now!

However, I will refrain, and be happy seeing yours. I love the last picture. Everything you describe and more.


Anonymous said...

Is that a tongue piercing I see? =O Or am I imagining things? Or did I never ever know that about you?

I love the photos! They are another side of you, very real. I wish I could take such beautiful pictures.

shelleycoughlin said...

I love the black and whites.

And I totally wish I could pull off the short hair as well as you do!

Anonymous said...

My favorites are the "tear stained, but surviving..." and the "I can't believe I'm doing this..."

Maybe I'll model for you when you visit. Or we'll make mom do it! :)

Dani said...

I love the pictures. I'd let you take pictures of me anytime.

Angela said...

Those are really amazing. I think shooting oneself is about the hardest thing to do. In my experience, I see myself way differently than the camera does and it makes me uncomfortable.

Amanda said...

No question of beauty, in the picture and in the writing.

Owlhaven said...

Great pictures!

Here from The Wink!

Mary, mom to many

Anonymous said...

I love, love, love the photo of you and Nora.


Lara said...

ali - thanks! and if i'm ever in your neck of the woods, i will come looking for you so that i can shoot you. ;)

jill b - braveness? awww, thanks. if you were around, believe that i would definitely be doing a photo shoot with you.

r u serious? - aw, shucks. thanks! and i'm looking forward to your answers.

cape buffalo - hooray! i would love that, of course. i'm always looking for more fun models.

ffbgirl - thank you! no stupid questions here, only (occasionally) stupid answers. i took all these pictures into a mirror. that's my usual method for self-portraits, though i have occasionally used a timer. i like the mirror because i actually often like the pictures that include bits of the camera itself. not sure why, though.

jennifer - yes, it is hard. which is why about 200 pictures came out of the shoot, i only kept 50, and i only showed 13. :-P

sassy - wow, that would be quite a compliment. someday i'll come visit you, and there will be a picture of me on your wall. and i'll only be a little bit creeped out.

TSM - hey, i love that you find my stuff worth stealing. imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right? besides, unless you intend to be taking pictures of me - which i doubt - it wouldn't be at all the same thing. i'd love seeing more pictures of you and your gorgeous red hair. :)

aly - yes, that is a tongue piercing. i've had it for many years now, though i'm not surprised no one in the blogosphere knew it. and thanks for your comment on the photos. in pictures you can, indeed, see another side of me. sometimes, i feel the photos are even more real than my writing.

nancypearlwannabe - why thank you. i've had long hair for the vast majority of my life, and i find i'm really enjoying the shorter 'do. i'm sure at some point i'll get tired of it again and let it grow out. but for now, i'm really happy with it.

seeser - thanks! i think we should do a big family photo shoot when we're all together again. just spend a whole afternoon doing hair and makeup, picking outfits, and taking photos. yay!

danielle - well if you didn't live on the other side of the country, i'd gladly take you up on that offer! :-P but thanks for the vote of confidence.

angela - i find that i, too, see myself very differently from the camera, but i find it a refreshing change of perspective actually. it's like, when i look at the pictures, i'm pleasantly surprised, like, "is that really me?" i could see how in other ways it might be uncomfortable, though.

amanda - oh, you always believe in me so strongly, even in my beauty. thanks, dear.

mary - thanks so much, both for visiting and for leaving a note!

lala - isn't she just the sweetest? she loves me, and she gets sad when i'm sad. true loyalty there.

Major Bedhead said...

Holy shit, woman. You're a knockout.

Those are some fantastic pictures.

Lara said...

julia - you are too sweet. thanks so much for that! :)

Anonymous said...

Wow. These pictures are stunning! My favorites are probably the "I can't believe I'm doing this" and the very last one. The silly cross-eyed pic is great too =)

(sorry for the late comment but better late than never, right?)

Lara said...

tali - yes, definitely better late than never. and thanks! do you want to model sometime? i could get more great pics of you, like that one black and white i have of you at cantor! :)