No, I don't like what I've let happen to this blog. I don't know what I want. Well, what I want is to want to blog. The fact is that the desire just hasn't been there. Often my brain is just so fried by the time I get home that I don't want to try to put any more sentences together. I also think very carefully about what I should or shouldn't post regarding school and various school-related people, and more often than not I end up deciding to play it safe by not posting anything.
I used to be a blogger. Am I still? How long can you go without blogging and still call yourself a blogger? I liked the blogger I was. Last year, when I went to Blogher '08, I was in a zone. I liked my style, I liked my site, and I liked all the people I connected with who joined me for my ride through life. And then I started teaching, and my blogging frequency tanked. And then my readership tanked. And then my frequency tanked more. And then I just flat-out left. What the hell, right? What happened?
I don't like that it happened, but I also don't know how to fix it. Blogging was never supposed to feel like a chore. It's not my job - it's a hobby. It's supposed to be something I enjoy. So if I wasn't enjoying it, wasn't it right to stop?
Whatever happened, I'm sorry. I hope the people who honestly care about me - whether I met you in real life or on the internet (or both) - are still willing to read when I am around. But I can't make promises about when that will be. I do know it won't be for a few weeks at least, though.
Tomorrow afternoon I am flying to Paris, France with 20 students and 6 other adults. We'll arrive in Paris around 11am Thursday morning, spend the day sightseeing, and get on a plane to Johannesburg, South Africa around 11pm. After a couple hours killing time in Johannesburg, we'll fly to Lilongwe, Malawi, and then to our final destination in Blantyre, Malawi sometime late Friday afternoon. I will be home again (via the same route in reverse) on June 20.
I really do love you guys, and I want to promise I'll post about the trip. But the fact is that I love you too much to make a promise I'm not sure I can keep, so I'll just say see ya around.