Inevitable Crash and Scavenger Hunt Update

(Photo courtesy of Garfield Minus Garfield.)

Look, everyone, it's the post-BlogHer crash! If you've been browsing the Twitter timeline, reading blogs, and/or observing status updates on Facebook, you've probably noticed it. It seems like most everyone is having a bit of trouble adjusting to life back in "the real world" after a weekend of friendship and frivolity. I can't deny that I'm feeling some of that same malaise, but I also can't pretend that it's only sadness at the end of BlogHer that had me feeling so crappy. See, I caught this cold that hit me pretty hard on Monday - I blame Jennster, because she was all up on my ass at the Macy's party - and I kept taking NyQuil and DayQuil and FuckingMakeMeFeelBetterAlreadyQuil and I forgot all about my citalopram.

I forgot to take my antidepressants.

No wonder I felt like crap! I couldn't figure out why the hell I kept crying at the drop of a hat, or why I couldn't work up the motivation to leave bed. When I sink back into depression, the mantra that repeats in my head is usually, "I don't care." Because I just don't - I don't care about getting anything done, I don't care about talking to anyone, I don't even care about shopping. You know it's bad when I put back a fabulous pair of shoes because I don't care enough to wait in the checkout line to buy them. And the only reason I eventually cared enough to eat is because I considered the fallout I would have to endure if I started dry heaving in the middle of the DVD aisle at Target. But I took my pills today and I'm already feeling a little more human. I also eventually did get out of the house and get some food as well, so I'm chalking the day up as an overall win.

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Many of you have been asking how my BlogHer08 Scavenger Hunt went. Well, let's see...

I did not get a picture of me with Her Bad Mother's boobs. I did, however, get a picture of me with HBM's adorable baby boy, whom I got to hold and snuggle and love all over while HBM was speaking in her panel:

He was quite content to sleep nuzzled against my chest until he woke up demanding food. Remember how I said HBM's boobs have featured prominently in past conferences? So far as mini-HBM was concerned, they featured prominently on the lunch menu as well. He was totally disappointed in what I had to offer. (Read: nothing.)

The photo of my shoes with Mocha's? I got that shiznit the very first night:

(I'll give you three two guesses which one is me and which is Mocha, but I bet you won't need them both.)

Mom-101 was super kind about the endorsement, even offering to lie and say she reads me every day! But I said I had too much respect for my readers to submit a lie, so she stayed honest. I had her sign my copy of Sleep is for the Weak - do you have this book? YOU SHOULD. - and told her she could write an endorsement in there. She wrote:

Don't you love how she gets straight to the point?

I wanted to get "an interview from Ali," but apparently, that was a bit confusing. What I meant was that I wanted Ali to interview ME, but I think it came across that I wanted to interview HER. In either case, it didn't happen. I did meet and talk to her, though. In fact, meeting her was second only to meeting Moosh in terms of absolute awkwardness. I saw Ali walking into the Newbie Mixer Party, and I went running over to say hi and give a hug. As I got closer, I could see from the look on her face that she was a little freaked out and had NO IDEA who I was. "Oh, man," I thought, totally embarrassed. When I finally reached her, I said, "Hi, I'm Lara... ?" hoping she might remember the name and figure out I wasn't a total weirdo. "Oh, I know," she says, smiling. "I just don't have my contacts in, so I couldn't see who you were until you were right here."

How cute is she? She makes me look like a big, freakish clown in comparison.

My sex advice from Kristen - much like my endorsement from Liz - came in the form of her book signing. She was kind enough to chuckle at my scavenger hunt idea but not openly laugh in my face - it's a fine line to walk, folks. Here's what she had to say:

"Always be prepared cuz you never know when the mood's going to hit you!" in case you can't read it. Ah, so true.

I met Flutter at the Ruby Skye party and she was so beautiful in a saucy red cocktail dress. She gave an awesome hug and introduced me to all sorts of super awesome ladies. The next day I went to her session and heard her speak and she was completely eloquent and inspiring. I did not, however, get a poem from her. Sad. (Comments are open, Flutter!)

Seeing Lady M is always special for me, but admittedly, it's not special in the same way that seeing these other women was. Lady M - for those who don't know - has been a friend of mine in real life for... um... five years? (Something like that.) I love her to death, and enjoying some of BlogHer with her was totally awesome. Japanese Fruit Friend is what she uses as her Blogger icon, and I wanted a picture of him with Monkeyduck, which I got during lunch on the second day:

Yeah, I know, the focus sucks. But still, aren't they cute?

Amanda never gave me a flower in any literal sense, but I did get to hold her adorable baby girl for a while, and that's kind of way more awesome than a flower anyway. Here is the three of us together before the final keynote on Saturday:

Fin's all flowery anyway.

I never got to hold Julie's baby, which is really too bad, but she claims he gave me my cold anyway. I did get to hug Julie, which was nice, and pat and coo and generally ogle over Oliver. It's okay that I didn't hold him. (Darn him for the cold, though, if he did pass it on...)

As for my hot tip from Queen of Spain, well, with her being as cool, popular, and important as she was (and is), I'm lucky I got the chance to say hello. Looks like I'll have to wait to find out the haps on social media along with everyone else.

Trying to get a parenthetical aside from Oh, The Joys was really hard. I realized after chatting with her that when it's not written down, it's kind of hard to tell when something is in parentheses and when it's not. But I did get to meet and talk with her, and even share a lunch table with her and some other fabulous ladies on Saturday. I think that counts.

My phone appears to have deleted the text from Sandra, which makes me incredibly sad. But she DID text me Thursday night saying that she hoped I was having a great time. (From what I read, she and others had a great time at Niagara Falls, too!)

I did get a dance with Sarah, but only because a mutual friend (the Kaiser) introduced us. Apparently he went to Sarah and said, "You have to dance with this chick," which, really, shouldn't be creepy at all, right? Fortunately, she was pretty easy-going, and after chatting for a bit, we danced. After dancing for a bit, we posed for a photo:

Sarah, Kaiser, and me.

And, last but not least, the picture of Dooce with Monkeyduck on her head. Uh, YEAH RIGHT. I actually did get to meet Dooce, and got to talk to her for a solid two minutes without being told to fuck off - I had no reason to expect she would tell me to fuck off, but when I get nervous, I sometimes develop irrational fears - but there was no way I was going to ask her to put a rubber monkey-duck creature on her head. I made a graceful exit and thanked my lucky stars I hadn't peed all over her cute purple tights.

So all in all, I did pretty well I think. More BlogHer recap posts will be coming - I still have tons to say - but in the meantime, I'll ask you this?

What were the best souvenirs YOU got from BlogHer08?

If you didn't go to BlogHer, what is the best souvenir you brought home from any past trip?

(I don't want to see any "I went to BlogHer and all I got was this canvas swag bag" answers, either. I know you got some good stuff. Dish! Dish!)