[If you haven't been following along, please read the last post and the comments therein before reading this. Thanks much.]
Dear "Anonymous" commenter,
You find it amusing that I'm calling you out for using a pseudonym? Well, for one thing, I'd argue that you're using a non-name more than a pseudonym, but your point is taken. How about choosing something like, "Dave's roommate"? That still keeps your identity safe here in the world of the internet, since those here who do know you already know who you are, and those who don't also don't know who Dave is. I also like Justin's idea of sharing a picture, or even as much personal information as I've shared here. That would make it less amusing and more fair, yes?
Second, what you said in your original comment was not "truth" - it was opinion. You are fully entitled to your opinion, and as far as I'm concerned, you're even welcome to share it here (you've noticed I'm not deleting your comments). But I'll thank you to keep in mind that your opinion is subjective, unless you have, in fact, spoken to every male human being on the face of the planet (oh, and lesbians too!) and found that "psycho" - by which I must assume you mean depressed, since that's the only mental illness I have - really is a deal-breaker for EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Then - and ONLY then - will I acknowledge what you've said as "truth." And since I've personally spoken to a number of men who flat-out dispute your comment, I think you'll have a tough time doing that.
Third, "none of these people know me"? Did you really just make the claim that none of the people who commented know me? Let's see: Natalie has known me for almost eight years now, Tpiglette's known me for only slightly less, Graham's known me for six, Tali's known me for five, and Justin's known me for a good seven years, a year-and-a-half of which we were seriously dating. The Kaiser's been a dear friend for almost a straight year, Aly's been around for almost two, and Franz is a high school acquaintance who became a friend also almost two years ago. Frankly, of I'm really going to be honest, I'd say the vast majority of those who left comments know me SIGNIFICANTLY better than you do. Your interactions with me have included 4 or 5 encounters over the past several years, NONE of which have been one-on-one, and NONE of which have involved conversation more intense than small talk about the weather or what was on TV. Dave knows me, yes. His sister knows me, yes. You? You do NOT know me, and frankly I'm insulted that you would claim to.
So you're all saying the same thing? "Get involved in activities." "Be optimistic." "Lace up your running shoes and start down the road to happiness, rather than continually talking about how rocky it is." Okay, you're working under some majorly incorrect assumptions here. First, while you're not directly stating it, you seem to be implying that all the people here who are giving me "pats on the back," as Dave put it, are not also suggesting - shock of all shocks! - the SAME THINGS YOU ARE. The fact that they give me unconditional love and support doesn't mean they're not suggesting ways for me to improve my life. However, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that maybe you weren't assuming that, so I'll move on.
The worse assumption here is that because I write about something, I'm doing nothing BUT write about that thing. That because I say, "You know, I've been finding it hard to get motivated lately, and I've been sleeping more than is healthy," I'm content to just lie in bed all day and not try to change those facts. In fact, you are completely wrong. By the time I wrote that post, I had already talked directly to multiple friends - you know, the people who KNOW me? - about how to make improvements to my schedule. By the time I wrote that post, I'd sent an email to friends saying, "Hey, anyone want to do something tonight?" I'd already gone out to see a play with Tpiglette. I'd already made plans to audition for a musical theater production nearby. I'd already gone for a long walk in the sunshine and gotten myself a manicure and pedicure to have a little me-time out and about in the community. So what, in all that, leads you to believe that I am NOT starting down the road to happiness? Talking about how rocky it is helps me get through it, and also - in my opinion - potentially helps others who are suffering the same types of rocky patches in their own lives. But when I write a post, that post is only one small slice of my life, so don't make the claim that writing it means I'm doing nothing to make my life better. Yet more proof that you really don't know me at all.
And lastly, "psycho" is a term generally reserved for maniacs who run after innocent people with knives and or drown small puppies. I think the vast majority of the world, when provided with a description of me and my symptoms, would NOT classify me as "psycho." Depressed? Yes. Emotionally unstable? Probably. But psycho? No. Norman Bates was psycho; I am not.
As for why being depressed is a deal-breaker? Yeah, that one you'll have to explain, because I have a lot of situational evidence around me that suggests that it's just not true. And since when did being depressed and unstable mean I'm incapable of being nice? Or even fun? Or even happy? You think I'm never happy? I'm never out with friends, laughing and socializing? I'm never donating my time and resources to other people in the hopes that I might help make their lives a little better? Well, sorry to say, but you're dead wrong. Think what you want, but it just ain't true. And frankly, people who are "nice, fun, and happy" but reek of insincerity? They are a deal-breaker for me.
That said, respond if you want - I don't care much either way. But if you do, I have to ask you this one question: WHY? Seriously, I don't understand why you're even here reading this blog. What do you care if I use my public space as a venting ground for my unhappiness? What do you care if I endure a little heartbreak? And after the cruel and cold-hearted attitude you did NOTHING to hide in your comments, I'm going to be hard-pressed to believe that you "just want the best" for me. I have nothing to do with you, or even anyone around you at this point, so why are you here? Dave I can understand, because he's been my friend almost as long as Natalie and Tpiglette have, and I know that he loves me even when he might be angry at me. But you? You are not my friend, and you never have been my friend. So if you're sticking around, I can only imagine it's for the drama and faux-limelight of being an internet troll for a while.