Staples of Youth: The Older Sibling Crush

We've been having a fair amount of change at work lately, with a number of kids moving on to new schools and a number of other kids moving in to ours. I'm sure I'll give an updated "Cast and Crew" list soon, but in the meantime, I'll just mention one in particular.


At least he naps...Pacer (yep, he paces... with his hands behind his back... looks like a tiny businessman) has been with us only three days so far, and his transition is going completely normally. For those of you who might be unfamiliar with a "normal" preschool transition, this means he cries a lot when it's time for Daddy to leave in the mornings. And sometimes he cries for Daddy during the day too. This is normal, though, because he's adjusting to a new situation, so it's okay to long for the familiar; abnormal transitions are ones in which the kid cries the entire time.

Yesterday, Pacer's older brother L. came with Daddy to drop him off. L. is six years old (our oldest kids are four), and will be starting first grade soon, but his school doesn't start until next week. With some of our kids on vacation, we had a lighter schedule than normal, so we invited L. to spend the morning playing with us at school. This way, we figured, Pacer could have someone with whom he felt comfortable, but who wouldn't seem terribly out of place (like, say, a large grown-up person might). L. agreed, and Dad was able to sneak out without any tears at all from Pacer.

Within minutes, however, we had a new problem, completely unforseen: Bossy (age 3) was completely and totally infatuated with L.

She stared up at his with starry eyes, asking if he wanted to read a book with her, or help her with this puzzle, or would he maybe like to go for a walk on the playground? He would say, "I'm going to play in the sandbox," and Bossy would quickly announce, "I'm going to play in the sandbox, too!" before running after him. She would show off for him, sometimes subtly - by which I mean staring at him intensely while jumping and shouting repeatedly in his field of vision - and sometimes more obviously, with a "Look what I can do!" warning before some seemingly death-defying stunt. When we went to the table for snack. or an art project, or lunch, L. would sit down and Bossy would lunge for the seat beside him, announcing to the world, "I'm going to sit next to L."

Funny thing is? I don't think he noticed her. At. All.

Poor little Bossy, chasing after him like a lovesick puppy. And Boss Lady and I couldn't help but chuckle as we watched the drama unfold, because we know how this goes. It's a tale with which we're all, I think, familiar: Girl goes to friend's house one afternoon to study, when suddenly hunky older brother walks into the kitchen fresh out of basketball practice and grabs a snack, sparing only a sidelong glance for this new specimen of female sitting in his kitchen. Maybe, if she's lucky, she gets a "Hey," from his angelic lips.

Come on, you can't tell me you haven't been there. I spent a large chunk of high school silently adoring my best friend's brother, Tim. Boy didn't give me a second look until college, after I'd already dated his best friend. But damn, I worshiped the ground he walked on. And the pool he played in, since I went religiously to every single one of his water polo games.

It works other ways, too. My brother's friend Kevin had a crush on me, despite his being two years younger than I was, at my wise old age of 13. And I can't even begin to count the number of times my male friends came over, only to fawn over my hot, blonde-haired, blue-eyed older sister. Because apparently this was all the rage at the time:

Oh, Seeser - please don't hate me for showing this picture to the world.

Seems to me, looking back, like this older sibling crush was an integral part of adolescence. I had it on Tim, Kevin had it on me, my friends had it on my sister - everyone was taking part in this trend.

So how about you? Any "older sibling crush" stories to share? Or am I totally crazy in thinking this is common?