All right, I'm going to have to give a little backstory here, because not all of you have been around for the ongoing reptilian drama that takes place in my automobile. (If you're heard all this before, you can skim until we get to the new stuff.)
Once upon a time, I had a beautiful blue friend named Iggy. Iggy was a lively lizard who enjoyed roaming my car at his leisure, hanging out on the dashboard:
Riding the steering wheel:
Or even helping with the gear shift:
Iggy was a good lizard, and a good friend. But then, sadly, Iggy died:
And OH! how I cried. Poor Iggy...
(Let's have a moment of silence for our dear departed friend.)
But life goes on, and Fourth Breakfast was so kind to introduce a new friend into my life (and car), and he was Ramon!
As you might guess from his rainbow sequined appearance, Ramon is a 24/7 fiesta, and he is great fun. Thanks, Fourth Breakfast!
Not too long after Ramon came along, Lady M brought yet another new friend. Melvin (look at update #4) wanted so much to be a good guard lizard for my car, and so he took the pseudonym "Spike," but really, he could never escape his Melvin-ness. Here we see him on the steering wheel, just like good ol' Iggy:
He and Ramon hit it off right from the start, the best of friends:
And I think that's about where we last left our story.
Everyone is caught up now? Good.
So Melvin and Ramon learned to coexist quite peacefully... or so I thought. They would move easily through the car, sometimes sharing space, other times each finding their own little hidey-holes. It seemed like a 4-door paradise for the little critters.
And then one day, I opened one of those doors to a gruesome scene. It was beyond my comprehension, honestly. By the time I snapped this picture, the scavengers were already at work.
(If you have a weak stomach, I implore you to turn away.)
Yes, that's right folks. He is melting. He has been LIQUIFIED! His arms and legs have fully melted off, and now he's just a slug:
Look at the trail of life just oozing out of him:
These grisly photos should be enough to convince you of the heinous nature of the crime.
"And where is Ramon during all of this?" you might ask. Oh, he's around, just minding his own business. But don't you think he's looking rather smug these days?
Frankly, I'm afraid to be alone in the car with him...