“Wait a second,” you’re saying. “That’s not… Is it?”
It is now. I’ve been having a lot of very not-so-fun conversations over the past few days about my blog. Basically, some people have expressed serious concerns about how easy it is to find my blog by searching for my name. Said concerns are generally based on fears of how my students and/or their parents would react to my blog if they were to find it.
At first, the people expressing these concerns wanted me to just take down the blog entirely. If you know me at all – if you’ve been paying any attention to what I’ve been saying here about the importance of this blog – then you know how huge a deal that was to me. I didn’t handle that request well at all.
In the hopes of reaching a compromise, we’re attempting to anonymify (oh, you like that word I just totally made up?) the blog – make it more difficult to connect to me. Of course, there are still logistical and technical issues with this, but hopefully it will work itself out. I don’t think I could take the blog down, no matter what the consequences of leaving it up. I need it too much, insane though that might seem to some of you.
So you’ll see that my name looks a bit different these days. I chose this name for a reason, and those of you who have paid any attention when I’ve spoken about my father can pretty easily figure out that reason. Plus, it’s a pretty name, no? I’ve gone back through and edited the name throughout the blog. I’ll also be going back and changing some other easily identifiable things over the next few weeks, including pictures – sadly, I think no more pictures showing faces (which is why I changed my profile pic, too).
*Sigh* This whole thing is extremely annoying, and a bit disheartening, too. I wish I could just speak my peace (yes, that was intentional) without being judged for it. On the one hand, I can understand the concern – it’s heavy material. But on the other hand, not talking about this kind of stuff isn’t going to mean the kids won’t have to deal with it. Hell, when I first started cutting, I had no idea what cutting even was – I thought I was a freak, and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what was wrong with me and why I was doing something so crazy. If I had known someone to talk to about it, I probably would have had an easier time of it. And the insinuation that cutting is contagious?! That’s just insulting. You’re afraid my students are going to catch cutting from me? Right, and the teachers who are gay are going to give their students a bad case of homosexuality, too.
At any rate, as I keep trying to remind myself, it’s just a name, right? This whole idea of changing one’s name and how that relates to changing one’s identity is something I’ve considered before. A childhood friend of mine, Lilit, has changed her name a few different times. I always assumed it was mostly for her writing, but I guess I’ve never directly asked her. But I have wondered, at times, how changing her name might or might not have effected (or maybe responded to) a change in her identity. For myself, I’ve taken a pseudonym, but I’m still the same person.
I’m still here.
In the hopes of cheering myself up a bit, we have Day 3 of LaBloShoeMo: The Imitation Converse.
I realize these shoes are probably “too young” for me, but I like them, in part for just that reason. They remind me of being a wannabe punk in high school, and they’re comfy and casual. I admit I have worn these to teach before, but I’m fairly certain they’ve never caused any of my students to think less of me. In fact, on a couple occasions, I think it actually made them like me even more.
Oh, and also? They’re from Payless. As if I had to mention that.[Edited to add: A university colleague doing his student teaching at the same school as I am was wearing these Chucks yesterday, and I just had to snap a picture. Apparently I'm not so weird after all...]