Sunday, March 23, 2008

Easter Google-age

Hey, did you go check out my post at Flutter's yet? No? What are you waiting for? Go!

Also, for those who are interested, I have a post up at Conversations about what Easter means to me. Feel free to check it out and tell me about your own Easter traditions (or lack thereof).

For the rest of you, please enjoy your weekly dose of internet search insanity:

waste some time - Read some Google-age!

handwriting analyst bay area
- Yes, just send me a sample of your handwriting on a check for $100, and I'll tell you all about yourself. (Note: Your personal profile will likely include the words "sucker," "gullible," and/or "moron." Possibly numerous times each.)

smell of hay and remembering my grandparents - Ah, the small of hay will always remind me of my grandparents, and that weekend where I murdered them and buried them in the hay loft. Those were the good ol' days.

thoughtful things to say to a teacher - "I did my homework." "I listened to your directions." "I don't think you're a loser for spending all day metaphorically wiping our 16-year-old butts."

sample teacher goodbye letters - "Dear class: You never did your homework, you never listened to my directions, and I'm sick of metaphorically wiping your 16-year-old butts. Adios, emo freaks."

fun popular beliefs - Gravity. Ha! More fun than a barrel of monkeys, that gravity. Or how about evolution? That's another fun one, eh?

"lara said" blogspot - I've said lots of things. To which one are you referring here, hm?

he watched my tampon - Did it do anything interesting?

1920's style disposable cups - Disposable cups from the 1920's looked so different from the disposable cups of today, you know. Many people prefer that retro look for their paper party ware.

describe what it feels like to wear pantyhose - Like encasing your legs in sausage skin. Even better is wearing dance tights, which are thicker and even more restrictive. And even better than THAT is wearing one pair of dance tights with another pair of dance tights over it for that quick costume change you have between the first and second acts of the show! Woo!

lesson plans are the bane of my existence - Time to start improv teaching. The students may not learn as much, but you'll all have a lot more fun!

shakespeare fart quotes - "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more like to a western wind from open sewage ventilants." That Shakespeare really had a way with words, huh?

"suburban mum" breakfast - Uh, she's not FOR breakfast, right?

david lara full time original - That's me, the full time original Lara David. Accept no imitations or imposters.

Happy Easter to all those who celebrate! Happy Sunday to everyone else!


BetteJo said...

I'm not sure which one is more weird - the guy who watched the tampon or the one who googled it!

Love your Google-age!

Guilty Secret said...

Happy Easter - hope you had a lovely day :)

Mrs. Chili said...

I need to figure out how to get googlage for myself. I'm seriously curious as to how people find my site, but WordPress's site meter kinda sucks (though, really, that's my only complaint about it...).

LOVE the Shakespeare quote! Seriously, though? I'm sure he DID write about farts, probably in The Tempest or the Taming of the Shrew, but I can't call a quote to mind at the moment....

Anonymous said...

Emo freaks! Ha!

Anonymous said...

I'm thoroughly convinced you just attract the weirdos, but it makes for damn good reading!! ;)

shelleycoughlin said...

I have had the weirdest google hits lately. Like, "librarians peeing in public". WTF?!

Lara said...

mrs. chili - i have no doubt that multiple fart jokes can be found in the comedies if one has a mind to look. :-P

Amanda said...

Happy Easter to you too!

ANA said...

Google age is the tool for unintentional comedy. Happy Easter!