But there were two concrete goals I set for myself – things I knew I wanted to achieve, to prove to myself somehow that my blog mattered. That people liked it. That it was appreciated. (By more than just me and my mom.)
The first goal was to get double-digit comments on a post. I achieved this on October 1, receiving 14 comments on “We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat.” How did I finally break the single-digit barrier? Probably mostly by admitting, unapologetically, that I am a comment whore. Also, the longer I blog, the easier it gets, purely by the fact that I make more and more blogging connections – I get more readers and more blog friends. And it especially helps when those blog friends are the stalkerish commenting type (ahem *Aly* ahem). But however it happened, I achieved that goal, and I was thrilled.
The second goal I knew was less realistic. It was, in fact, kind of a long shot. But a goal is supposed to beyond your reach, just a little bit, otherwise it wouldn’t be a goal – it would just be something you have. My second goal was to win a Perfect Post Award. The Perfect Post Awards are hosted each month by Lucinda and Momma K, and they are a chance for bloggers to honor their favorite posts of each month. They can be favorites for wit, intellect, immature humor, nostalgia, beauty, sadness - for whatever reason, that blogger LOVES that particular post, and so she or he deems it a Perfect Post.
I wanted to be a good enough blogger to win a Perfect Post Award someday. And occasionally, the thought would cross my mind as I wrote a post that maybe this was worthy of an award, or maybe this was crap and would never win me an award, or any number of thoughts in between. It wasn’t there all the time – it certainly wasn’t the reason I ever posted. I posted for my own reasons, but every so often, the distant goal of the Perfect Post was there in my mind.
When I wrote my series, however, the Perfect Post was far from my mind. Miles away. I wrote those posts for myself, for my own healing, selfish though that may be. Many people have talked about the effect those posts might have on other readers, that others might find it inspirational in some way. And I must admit that I think that’s entirely possible, that my words might help someone struggling with a similar situation, might give her hope when she couldn’t find it anywhere else. If that happens, it would be wonderful, and I never even really need to know that it did. But to be honest about my self-centered motivations, that was not a consideration for me. I wrote the posts for me, and I shared them because putting them out there for others to see was also a part of the healing for me. It was an admission of the reality of what I had experienced – of the truth I had found in the pain. It was not, however, intended to garner attention for the sake of attention (which I certainly like at times).
Perhaps because the series was so unaffected by external motivations – so driven by sincere emotional need – it became the post to help me achieve my second goal. Lady M has presented me with a Perfect Post Award for the month of November for my post series recapping my recent struggles. To win the award for something so meaningful to me personally is more than I could have hoped for. To win the award from Lady M, a wonderful woman I am proud to have as a friend and mentor, only makes it that much more remarkable to me. I am beyond honored.
Plus, I got a cool button to add to my sidebar, and we all know this place needed some sprucing up. :-P
To abruptly change the subject with no segue whatsoever, it is the first day of December, and that means – LaBloShoeMo! Time for Pair #1: The
I adore these shoes - though, I suppose, I adore most of my shoes, so that says very little. This is one of only three pairs of shoes for which I have an *exactly* matching purse (excepting, of course, the obvious black, white, and brown pairs). It is the one and only pair for which I have both a matching purse AND a matching coat. They also keep me from being too tall, what with their being flats and all, and that little bow in the front is just precious. The one downside? They still give me blisters if I walk around in them for too long. Ah well – they’re worth it.
(P.S. The pants are hand-me-downs from my mom. They didn't fit her, so she offered them to me to try. They are a size 4 Long, so I figured there was no chance they would fit my size 10 legs. But then they fit! A SIZE 4! I think I was in shock for days over that. Thanks for the pants, Mom!)