Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Not What You're Expecting, I Can Almost Guarantee

Posted by Lara at 8:47 PM
Okay, so I had a very big health scare recently, and it turned out to be okay, but it did require a procedure that prompted me to send this text to my sister:

They're about to take a scalpel to my lady bits - please pray!

Yes, you read that right. SCALPEL. LADY BITS. Yep. More details on that will be coming soon, I swear. And by "soon," I mean as soon as I'm not drowning in work, and we all know that "soon" in that definition is very flexible.

For now, though, something's been bugging me and I need your help. I bought a new shave gel recently - "Flirty Mango":

Now please tell me, oh wise readers of mine, what exactly makes a mango "flirty"? And how far does a mango have to go before it moves from "flirty" to "promiscuous"?

Thank you in advance for your help.


Rachel on 9:05 PM said...

flirty = perfect ripeness, with that perfect mango taste
promiscuous = overripe and overdone, with that nasty mango taste

fjd said...

Actually, it's a man deterrent: you're supposed to read it as "Flirty Man Go" -- an imperative statement indicating the action flirty men take when you use it. If you want flirty men to wander up to you, buy "Flirty Meanderin"; or, if you're thinking fast marriage, you can go with the even stronger "Flirty Mantalope".

Rowyn on 10:26 PM said...

I'm glad everything's okay. I have also had sharp pointy things directed at my "lady bits" and it is indeed scary and unpleasant. I sincerely hope that this is the last you'll see of such procedures.

califmom on 12:53 AM said...

If the mango comes at your lady bits with a scalpel, it's beyond flirty. I do know that much.

Middle Aged Woman on 8:07 AM said...

"Flirty" has to do with its willing proximity to the lady bits. And yours, too, I would imagine. Recently did the little scalpel thing myself. Hope everything turns out well for you, as it did for me.

bernthis on 10:49 PM said...

when you peel it and it doesn't complain one bit


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