Sunday, October 19, 2008

Rented Space: The Other Side of the Story

Posted by Lara at 11:15 AM
[Today's post is another rental, another set of painful feelings. Please offer what comfort you are able, even if it is only a virtual hug or two.]

I exist. None of you know it as you read the pretty prose he writes. He talks about failed marriages. Plural. But the thing is, he never talks about me. Yet, I exist in his life. That second marriage didn't fail. Although, it hangs on by a thread. Loads of women swoon at his words and become all aflutter when he professes his undying love for another publicly. Yet, here I am. I exist. I am the one he's married to. And none of you even suspect it.

He once portrayed me publicly as an Ogress, yet everyone thought it was just a fairy tale. He told everyone of his unhappiness and he was encouraged to leave. No one thought about the other side of the story. No one suggested that his unhappiness might just be in himself and not lie with me. And no one suggested that he ditch his online love and work on things with the one he's married to. No, it was easier to support the online one, the romance everyone wishes they could live. No one supports the one behind the scenes. The invisible one. The one who has given her everything to him. Me. My love, my support, my strength, my understanding and my tears.

I have stood by him, through good times and bad. I have loved him through sickness and health. I have stood by his bed in the emergency room more than once during our short marriage, and prayed to every god I could think of that he would be alright. I have loved him through richer and poorer. And God help me, I love him still.

Not everything written is the truth. Nor is everyone exactly who they portray themselves to be. And there are always two sides to every story.

5 comments:

Mrs. Chili on 3:07 PM said...

Oooof.

Only once did I encourage someone to leave their marriage, and that was only because I KNEW the other spouse had no interest whatsoever in trying to rescue it - she'd moved on already (and confessed the whole thing to me).

This sort of thing rips my heart out. I wish you comfort.

BetteJo on 3:54 PM said...

I always wonder about the other side ...

flutter on 4:34 PM said...

I know how this is. I am sorry you have to live it.

Maybe now it is time to tell your story

Maggie on 6:30 AM said...

You are so right, there are always two sides.

My heart aches for yours.

ame i. said...

Oh, it hurt to read that. I have several choice, 4 letter words for him but will keep them to myself.
I lost my first husband 5 years ago, when our daughters were 3 and 5. We met when I was 14 and he was 17. We would have celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this year had he lived and had I been able to keep living with him.
Before the kids came along, he once had the sympathy of all his co-workers and was advised to leave his "bad" marriage. It stemmed from a time when I "refused" him sex. he didnt mention to them that he was "asking" at 11 at night after we had been in bed for over an hour, I was sleeping and had to be awake at 5. He also didn't mention that I coddled him and kisses his behind every day of our marriage.
If it comes down to you having to leave, I wish you the strength. There are men out there who aren't jerks. I've been married to one for a year now.
Hugs, prayers, good thoughts and well-wishes from me to you.

 

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