Easter Google-age

Hey, did you go check out my post at Flutter's yet? No? What are you waiting for? Go!

Also, for those who are interested, I have a post up at Conversations about what Easter means to me. Feel free to check it out and tell me about your own Easter traditions (or lack thereof).

For the rest of you, please enjoy your weekly dose of internet search insanity:


waste some time - Read some Google-age!

handwriting analyst bay area - Yes, just send me a sample of your handwriting on a check for $100, and I'll tell you all about yourself. (Note: Your personal profile will likely include the words "sucker," "gullible," and/or "moron." Possibly numerous times each.)

smell of hay and remembering my grandparents - Ah, the small of hay will always remind me of my grandparents, and that weekend where I murdered them and buried them in the hay loft. Those were the good ol' days.

thoughtful things to say to a teacher - "I did my homework." "I listened to your directions." "I don't think you're a loser for spending all day metaphorically wiping our 16-year-old butts."

sample teacher goodbye letters - "Dear class: You never did your homework, you never listened to my directions, and I'm sick of metaphorically wiping your 16-year-old butts. Adios, emo freaks."

fun popular beliefs - Gravity. Ha! More fun than a barrel of monkeys, that gravity. Or how about evolution? That's another fun one, eh?

"lara said" blogspot - I've said lots of things. To which one are you referring here, hm?

he watched my tampon - Did it do anything interesting?

1920's style disposable cups - Disposable cups from the 1920's looked so different from the disposable cups of today, you know. Many people prefer that retro look for their paper party ware.

describe what it feels like to wear pantyhose - Like encasing your legs in sausage skin. Even better is wearing dance tights, which are thicker and even more restrictive. And even better than THAT is wearing one pair of dance tights with another pair of dance tights over it for that quick costume change you have between the first and second acts of the show! Woo!

lesson plans are the bane of my existence - Time to start improv teaching. The students may not learn as much, but you'll all have a lot more fun!

shakespeare fart quotes - "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more like to a western wind from open sewage ventilants." That Shakespeare really had a way with words, huh?

"suburban mum" breakfast - Uh, she's not FOR breakfast, right?

david lara full time original - That's me, the full time original Lara David. Accept no imitations or imposters.

Happy Easter to all those who celebrate! Happy Sunday to everyone else!