Okay, we've all heard about traditional "blogstipation." You feel some sort of obligation to blog - maybe you just feel like you've been silent too long, or maybe you're doing that crazy Blog 365 thing where you have to blog every single day - and you can't think of anything interesting to say. Yeah, I've been there, and I'm pretty sure every other blogger has been too.
But what about the days when you genuinely want to blog? There's no obligation - you don't owe anyone anything - just the desire to participate in the great online community of which you happily consider yourself a part. Maybe you just feel like writing and getting feedback on it. Maybe you just feel like feeling a little less isolated for a while. So you sit down at your computer, and...
It's so sad, I'm telling you. Anyone else ever been there?
In lieu of a real post, I offer you a brief excerpt from the book I'm working on. Let me say a few things first:
1) I'm nervous about posting very much here because I'm a little paranoid about thievery. Obviously I don't think any of you, my normal readers, would do anything like that, but I worry about random internet prowlers taking my words when I'm planning to seek publication someday. So this will be only a very brief snippet.
2) Because of the brevity, there's pretty much no context. Accept, acknowledge, and enjoy the context-less excerpt for what it is.
3) Thoughts, questions, suggestions - totally welcome. Blind praise - always encouraged!
Here you go:
... [B]ecause of some deep-seated belief that you shouldn’t be angry at your small child, you may be immediately swamped with guilt. Some of the thoughts that may be going through your head include:
- “He didn’t mean it.”
- “He’s just tired / cranky / hungry.”
- “He’s just a child.”
- “I’m supposed to love him no matter what.”
Well guess what? Not one of those means that you can’t or shouldn’t feel angry. While he may or may not have meant to make you feel angry or hurt, he did mean to [do what he did]. Being tired, cranky, hungry, or in any other way uncomfortable does not excuse destructive behavior, even if it does sometimes make it more tempting. The fact that Jimmy is a child also does not excuse his behavior, though he may require more explanation as to why that is true. And that last statement – that you are “supposed to love him no matter what” – is just silly, because when in your life has being angry at someone made it impossible for you to love him or her? Boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, parents, siblings – we get angry at all of these people through the course of our lives. So why do we block our anger when it’s directed at our own children?
If you’ll recall, the definition of emotions clearly states that they are not experienced through conscious efforts, so trying to stop the anger goes against your natural reaction. Instead, why not let yourself experience the anger and find an appropriate way to respond? By doing so, you are helping teach your child how to experience and respond to his own emotions.
It's a work in progress, obviously, but I'm happy with where it's going so far.