Here's a transcript of our very first exchange:
Me: Hi, I'm Miss Lara. What's your name?
Beloved: Beloved. Who are you?
Me: I'm one of the teachers, like Boss Lady.
Beloved: Oh. [pause] Are you anybody's mother?
Me: [surprised pause] Um, no. Are you anybody's mother?
Beloved [laughing]: No, silly - I'm too little! But you're big.
Me [now laughing]: You're right - I'm big enough to be somebody's mother, but I'm not.
Last week, while sitting at the lunch table, she told me a joke that just made my head hurt with confusion:
Beloved: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Beloved: Who.
Me: Who who?
Beloved: There's someone outside the door!
Me: Huh?
Beloved: Don't cry, it's only a joke!
Somehow, I think her knock-knock jokes have all gotten mixed up in her head, because while that punchline is familiar, I'm pretty sure it goes with a different opening. But hey, at least she wasn't trying to hurt me.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAY7G619HI9LueaBqylF2Zs2qMb_X4s4BUXLO2TDvMWeKQt6P5THVDE9yMEQ7tvKcCMfdykxDohUiocgUR2izNwPF5Ik-KtBIi_pCpdhaIxjB7biUpqI9wY7753YmRpSbaPsZx/s200/family+drawing+2.jpg)
Beloved: Excuse me, Miss Lara.
Me: Yes, Beloved, what do you need?
Beloved: I need one girl and one boy to play with me.
Me [struggling not to laugh]: You'll have to work that out with the other students, Beloved. It's not my job to make them play with you.
But today, she found a willing playmate in Princess, another little girl at the school, and taught me a little something about the modern family:
Beloved: Do you want to play with me?
Princess: Yeah.
Beloved: Do you want to play "family"?
Princess: Yeah.
Beloved: Okay, I'll be the mommy, and you can be the mommy, and we have a baby.
And what was my first thought? "Maybe there's hope for her yet..."
Of course, after about two minutes, Princess got bored and wandered over to the sandbox, and Beloved did that creepy narrowing-of-eyes that she does right before she kills someone.
Well, that's what it looks like anyway.
25 comments:
Ha.. the narrowed eyes part is creeping me out. Could be because of the spooky vacant doll expression I'm picturing in my head!
I hope you have eyes in the back of your head Miss Lara!
Ha ha that was very funny. The knock knock joke made my head hurt, though.Beloved reminds me of a little girl I used to look after. Too creepy!
Ouch! Poor Art Linkletter just rolled over in his grave and cried. Oh, wait, he's still alive. My bad, too.
jill b - meh, i go with the most well-known. well, most well-known to me, at any rate. :-P
Little girls creep me out. I think Hollywood has something to do with this.
I immediately thought Art Linkletter too.
I feel so old. :)
"I need one boy and one girl to play with me" ... good luck with that Beloved, good luck =)
Um, excuse me, Ms Lara? I need one million dollars and a group of adoring fans to feed me peeled grapes.
*narrows eyes*
flutter - hahahahaha! yeah, um, i'll get right on that. ;)
'Narrowing Eyes'.... Keep an eye on that one! And I'd stop wearing headbands!
You can't make these stories up- only witnessing the actions and conversations first hand make you realize why that show "Kids say the Darndest Things" was such a hit!
I remember wanting to play family when I was little. I "played" like I was brushing my teeth and such but didn't like to actually do it. Wierd!
~ Wolf Lover Girl
I'm ashamed to admit my version of the knock-knock joke is infinitely worse than Beloved's.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Yodel Lay Hee.
Yodel Lay Hee Who?
Yodel Lay Hee O.
(See what I mean?)
kennethSF - i've heard that one, though i always thought the punchline was "i didn't know you could yodel!" shows what i know. :-P
Lara: I think yours is the correct punchline. Mine is just, well, screwed up!
It's funny how even small children have the ability to creep you out. It just goes to show, somethings you are born with, like good looks, athletic ability, creepy, slightly demonic tendencies. hmmmm. I'd watch out if I were you.
knock knock?
who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Just a joke, no need to cry!
sassy - yeah, see, with the opening she had, i was expecting, "there must be an owl around here!" and then she went and busted out the "don't cry, it's only a joke!" strange girl, i'm telling you...
I'm imagining a little Shirley Temple look-alike in crinoline and lace with a bow in her hair. Hey, maybe she'll tapdance for you before throwing a bowl of jell-o in your lap for not getting her knock-knock joke. :)
She starts fires with her mind, doesn't she. I bet she does.
yh - so far, no crinoline. but the lace and the hair bows? every day. with sparkly shoes, too.
mom101 - God only knows, but i think she just might.
My kids tell very similar jokes I'm afraid! Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? You better wash your dirty hair! Then they laugh hysterically. Where have I gone wrong?
I love listening in on conversations that kids have amongst themselves. Too cute.
Ha I loved this post. I used to teach Kindergarten and then 4th grade - at each age kids are definitely a challenging, funny, cute, adorable, and all that. Beloved sure sounds like a keeper. I hope your students parents don't come across your blog - just something to watch out for you know.
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