Monday, April 09, 2007

Yep, I'm Pretty Much Shameless

Posted by Lara at 3:12 PM
As most of you know, I keep a running list of potential topics for this blog on my computer. Sometimes, they're just a few key words, sometimes they're actually a few sentences of the beginning of a post, and sometimes they're questions I want to ponder. One of these questions I had a few weeks ago was this: Is it okay to post something that inherently asks for compliments/reassurance? Is it okay to say, "I feel like a failure - please tell me I'm not," or does that negate any possible meaning behind responses? Even more subtly, what about saying things like, "Sometimes I don't think I'm a good writer," or "I know I'm not very attractive," or other things that invite reassurance from the audience? What is the rule on these kinds of posts here in the blogosphere?

I've seen posts, particularly from blogging moms, that ask for support and encouragement in certain area. Often it's to make sure a particular problem with a kid is normal, or that their "bad" parenting really isn't so bad. And I think that's fine, to ask for that kind of response. Tell me I'm not alone. So people comment and say, "You're not alone," and everyone feels good about that. I think that's perfectly understandable.

But what about when I'm just being insecure, and I just want to be told that I'm okay? What about when I just want to win the blogularity contest, when I need validation for no reason other than my own fragile self-esteem? Is that really okay? Does it make a difference if I'm honest about it or not? I could theoretically write a post and say, "I'm feeling insecure, and I'm asking for you all to reassure me." That way, at least we all know we're on the same page. Does that make it better or worse?

I think I've come to the point where I think it's okay, as long as we're open about it. I don't mind reassuring people when I know they need a little encouragement. People get self-conscious and insecure, and if I genuinely believe in them and their abilities, I'm perfectly willing to remind them of that. I figure anyone still here and reading knows me and my personality - I'm often insecure, and I appreciate validation because I often lack the confidence to believe in myself and my abilities. If you're still reading in spite of that, I figure you've decided you're willing to put up with that particular fault of mine.

That said, prepare for some shameless self-promotion. I found out that someone nominated my blog for a Blogger's Choice Award - specifically, the "Blogizter," which will go to "the blogger who demonstrates the best writing ability on his or her blog." (Get it? Like the Pulitzer?) The description of my blog - presumably written by the person who nominated me - says:

A blog about the life and times of a young woman who struggles some days, sees the good in some days, and survives the ups and downs of her life--all the while telling her readers about it. Her writing is spectacular and keeps you wanting more. This writer has an admirable ability to write about some tough topics in a way that keeps the reader at ease.

I think it's so cool that even one person feels that way about my writing. I was totally stoked to discover my nomination.

Now, nominations are great and all, but votes? Well, they're even better. You're a reader of my blog - you must like something about it, so consider heading over and voting. You'll have to create an account, but that's quick and easy. Plus, once you have an account, you can nominate and vote for your other favorite bloggers!

Am I desperate and a little pathetic to beg for votes? Yes. Will that make me any less excited to see every single vote I get? Nope.

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P.S. The happy dance is on the way. Really, I promise. And believe me, it will be awesome. And by "awesome" I mean "humiliating."

12 comments:

alyndabear on 4:18 PM said...

I think you know you have support, that's why we're still here, dork. :P

Congratulations on your nomination! I shall head on over and check it out. Happy dance! Happy dance!

R U Serious?? on 6:27 PM said...

You are NOT pathetic and NOT desperate!! Your posts are always GREAT!! Thanks for 'mentioning' (lol) your nomination!! I just finished voting for you!!!!! Really hope you win! You deserve to!

Good Luck!

IMC Guy on 6:37 PM said...

It's your blog, do what you want. I just came across your blog and while I've only read a little of your writing, but I really like what've I've read. Keep up the good work.

ffbgirl on 7:31 PM said...

I am so glad I have inspired a happy dance!! Your blog inspires me to be a better person!! I hope you win! Get one of those buttons that shows you were nominated!! You are AWESOME!

Lady M on 9:15 PM said...

Congratulations on the well-deserved nomination!

Seth on 9:25 PM said...

Congrats on the nomination....

I'm pretty sure that it's okay to ask for reassurance too. We learn from the feedback of right?... Isn't that part of the point of the education process?

Nicholas on 1:53 AM said...

Congratulations on being nominated. yours is one of the fun, non-mushy blogs I enjoy visiting often.

Nicholas

Shawna on 10:02 AM said...

I stop by here on occasion and want to comment today to say:
"You are not alone." Shameless ;) OK, I think mostly BRAVE, but definitely not alone.
Cheers to your nomination.

Aimee on 11:05 AM said...

I think that once your readership hits 70 or more comments a blog and every single post is a desperate plea for compliments, then, we might have to stage an intervention. (I'm totally thinking of a mommy blogger right now that fits this bill).

You, however, have a dedicated readership that thinks you're swell! :)

I'm totally voting for you.

LaLa on 3:03 AM said...

Done! :)

And I don't check your blog on a daily basis because I am nice, you know. It's because you are good at what you do.

Ooh. I wanna know who Aimee is talking about!

Kilgore Trout on 8:53 AM said...

This is my first time here. I was directed here by someone who apparently likes you, oh and they have comments on this post. So Thank You for 8 millionth time in an hour to ffbgirl.

Anyway, we all get insecure, and we all ask for reasurance. Some people are direct, help I'm insecure. Others are more subtle, I'm not sure either is better or worse just different styles for different people, or depending on the level of insecurity.

I'm not normally an emotional person but if you want to see massive insecurity with a dash of horrible writing your welcome to check out my site.

I'll have to read some more before I decide to vote or not, again its my first time here, but so far I like it. Have a good one, and good luck with the award.

Lara on 4:04 PM said...

aly - i'm working on the happy dance, i swear! your support is invaluable. dork.

r u serious? - thanks for the encouragement. and the vote!

IMC guy - i'm glad you've enjoyed your reading so far. i hope you keep visiting. :)

ffbgirl - oh yeah, a major happy dance. and yes, i definitely grabbed a button, because this is totally bling-worthy.

lady m - thank you! :)

seth - you bring up a good point: feedback and commentary are crucial to the learning process. as i say, this is an ongoing education...

nicholas - i consider "non-mushy" a great compliment, so thank you.

shawna - thanks for delurking to say that. i do appreciate it. and yes, i am shameless, but also brave at times.

aimee - wow, i want to know who you're talking about! and if my readership ever hit 70 or more comments i would just about die.

lala - i had to read that twice to get it, but thank you. :) i'm glad you continue to read because you enjoy.

kilgore trout - hey, thanks for visiting, and for the comment. glad to have met you. insecurity runs rampant through the blogosphere, i think; it just manifests in a variety of ways. ;)

 

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