As most of you know, I keep a running list of potential topics for this blog on my computer. Sometimes, they're just a few key words, sometimes they're actually a few sentences of the beginning of a post, and sometimes they're questions I want to ponder. One of these questions I had a few weeks ago was this: Is it okay to post something that inherently asks for compliments/reassurance? Is it okay to say, "I feel like a failure - please tell me I'm not," or does that negate any possible meaning behind responses? Even more subtly, what about saying things like, "Sometimes I don't think I'm a good writer," or "I know I'm not very attractive," or other things that invite reassurance from the audience? What is the rule on these kinds of posts here in the blogosphere?
I've seen posts, particularly from blogging moms, that ask for support and encouragement in certain area. Often it's to make sure a particular problem with a kid is normal, or that their "bad" parenting really isn't so bad. And I think that's fine, to ask for that kind of response. Tell me I'm not alone. So people comment and say, "You're not alone," and everyone feels good about that. I think that's perfectly understandable.
But what about when I'm just being insecure, and I just want to be told that I'm okay? What about when I just want to win the blogularity contest, when I need validation for no reason other than my own fragile self-esteem? Is that really okay? Does it make a difference if I'm honest about it or not? I could theoretically write a post and say, "I'm feeling insecure, and I'm asking for you all to reassure me." That way, at least we all know we're on the same page. Does that make it better or worse?
I think I've come to the point where I think it's okay, as long as we're open about it. I don't mind reassuring people when I know they need a little encouragement. People get self-conscious and insecure, and if I genuinely believe in them and their abilities, I'm perfectly willing to remind them of that. I figure anyone still here and reading knows me and my personality - I'm often insecure, and I appreciate validation because I often lack the confidence to believe in myself and my abilities. If you're still reading in spite of that, I figure you've decided you're willing to put up with that particular fault of mine.
That said, prepare for some shameless self-promotion. I found out that someone nominated my blog for a Blogger's Choice Award - specifically, the "Blogizter," which will go to "the blogger who demonstrates the best writing ability on his or her blog." (Get it? Like the Pulitzer?) The description of my blog - presumably written by the person who nominated me - says:
A blog about the life and times of a young woman who struggles some days, sees the good in some days, and survives the ups and downs of her life--all the while telling her readers about it. Her writing is spectacular and keeps you wanting more. This writer has an admirable ability to write about some tough topics in a way that keeps the reader at ease.
I think it's so cool that even one person feels that way about my writing. I was totally stoked to discover my nomination.
Now, nominations are great and all, but votes? Well, they're even better. You're a reader of my blog - you must like something about it, so consider heading over and voting. You'll have to create an account, but that's quick and easy. Plus, once you have an account, you can nominate and vote for your other favorite bloggers!
Am I desperate and a little pathetic to beg for votes? Yes. Will that make me any less excited to see every single vote I get? Nope.
P.S. The happy dance is on the way. Really, I promise. And believe me, it will be awesome. And by "awesome" I mean "humiliating."