Sunday, Google Sunday

Well, it's another Sunday, and time for more Google searches. I'm working explicitly today to keep it light, because my mood in real life is soooo the opposite of light. Just keep that in mind, in case any of the jokes fall flat. Today's searches will also be sans categories - just a random collection of searches that have amused me recently.

do due and due done - Trying to organize your to-do list, are you? Neither of these combinations alone will really do as well as a Do-Due-Done list. Especially if that list is color-coded.

bandwagon backup - Are you calling for some? "We have a code red! Code red! I need bandwagon backup NOW!" I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds urgent.

circle of friends game - I think you're thinking of "Spin the Bottle." It's a game where everyone wins! (Okay, that's an outright lie, but what can I say? I've never played it myself.)

shrunken ladies - I have such a creepy image in my head right now. I'll thank you in advance for tonight's nightmares.

show my boob pic - Well, I can't show your boob pic until you send it to me. I warn you now, though, that I'm a pretty harsh judge of boob pics, so it better be good, otherwise there will be no posting here.

cutie video - I may be a cutie, but there are no vids here. Amanda sometimes has very cute ones of her girls, and Domestic Slackstress often V-logs. Try them.

"JOEY HARRINGTON" photos naked - Look, glad as I am to see something NOT related to this man's wedding, I'm not sure this was what I was hoping for. If I had these, I wouldn't be spending so much time blogging, would I? No, I'd be caressing my computer screen and having wicked fantasies. Mmmm... Okay, I'm a dirty girl, I know. But seriously - he's soooo hot!

connect four gravity - Ah, gravity, the true winner of every Connect Four match.

controlling a clothing swap - Are yours getting out of hand? Maybe you're inviting the wrong people or something. Generally a clothing swap should be fairly low-key and fun. If moshing and techno remixes start becoming the norm, you may want to rethink your clothing-swap logistics.

coming out and still trying to have the straight life - Ah, the classic, "Have your cake and eat it too" conundrum, born again in a new form. Good luck with finding a compromise here, fella.

difference between written and spoken messages - Well, generally, a written message comes in writing. A spoken message, on the other hand, usually comes through some form of oral speech. Distinguishing between the two can be tricky, but with practice, you'll get the hang of it.

life as a little person - I'm sure Bubbers is an expert. Once he learns to better verbally express himself, we can ask him about it. In the meantime, we can all look at this photo, which gives us a visual sense of what that life must be like. Every time I look at this picture, I think, "Little man, big world." But just look at him charge forth, armed with a fearlessness and strength that says, "I'm wearing leak-proof diapers, and won't need a nap for an hour!" You go, boy.

from atom to adam and eve to evening - And from crazy to crazier. Is this some sort of spectacular magic trick or what? I mean, Adam is made up of atoms anyway, right? And Eve to evening is really just a matter of adding N-I-N-G. I must say, I'm not impressed.

personal narrative and the blog - Once her Harry Potter series is finished, J.K. Rowling will turn her sights to a new project: The Adventures of Personal Narrative. This is the first installment, Personal Narrative and the Blog. Coming soon: Personal Narrative and the AM Radio, Personal Narrative and the Dustbunnies of Doom, and Personal Narrative and the Funky Feta.

painful love songs - All love songs are painful for me these days. I try to stick to angsty teen punk rock - it fits my mood better these days. "Whyyyyyyyy should I caaaaaaaare? 'Cause you weren't there when I was scared - I was so alooooooone." Oh, Avril, how you speak to me.

chaotic mom life poem - Julia, you want to take a stab at this one? Or Dee, how about you? Let me know if you come up with anything good.

know-it-all patients group therapy - I hate those patients, don't you? The ones who are always all, "I'm soooo much better at therapy than you." Oh, wait... I *am* that patient. Crap. Are you in my group therapy? Abe, is that you?

elizabeth bennet costume - To really do it right, you shouldn't mix a day dress with evening accessories, like I did. But really, most people won't notice, and you'll get lots of "Ooh, pretty!" comments throughout the day.

jokes workplace 2007 - Is this a "Best Of" list or something? I'm not sure I've heard any jokes at my workplace in 2007. Well, except for that one, but that's way too dirty to tell here.

"google searches" "my blog" - No, no, no. Google searches MY blog. Nice try, though.

And now, with no segue whatsoever, I go back to my horrible procrastination. Sigh.