Or So I've Been Told

Anyone out there remember that sunscreen song that was popular in the late ‘90’s? The one with all the little bits of advice for graduating seniors? There’s a line in there that says, “Remember the compliments you receive; forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.” Personally, I’ve never been very good at this. I remember insults forever. They hound me late at night when I’m lying in bed wondering what’s wrong with me. Voices from the past come humming back to me, reminding me of flaws I may have forgotten. Some particularly stand-out insults I’ve gotten:

• “You’re getting fat – you shouldn’t eat that.”
• “You’re such a loser!”
• “Why would he want to go out with you?”
• “You’re so boring! No one actually wants you around.”
• “You’re always trying to be funny – you’re not funny.”
• “You’re too selfish to ever change. You only care about yourself.”
• “God, what a freak! How tall are you anyway?”
• “No one in their right mind would ever love you.”

And yes, I have been told those things, to my face, in those exact words. Some of them more than once. Some of them at regular intervals for years at a time. And I remember them all – those and more.

But that’s pretty non-ideal, wouldn’t you agree? It’d be better to forget those, and focus on the positive comments. Because there have been positive comments, too. So even thought the insults come to mind with little or no effort whatsoever, I sat down and worked on remembering the compliments:

• “You sparkle. When you walk into a room, it’s just like… everyone sees you.”
• “I have learned so much from you, from your strength.”
• “You have such pretty eyes.”
• “Hearing you sing, it makes my heart feel full.”
• “You make me laugh. You make me happy.”
• “I trust you.”
• “You rock something fierce!”
• “I love you. No matter what happens, I will love you forever.”

Maybe the scales are tipped more in my favor than I’m willing to admit to myself on those sleepless nights. Maybe – just maybe – I’m not as bad as I think.

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Day 6 of LaBloShoeMo: The Black Loafers

Okay, let’s get one thing straight: I took this picture because loafers deserve to be displayed with knee socks. I do NOT, however, actually wear them this way (except when I’m playing Naughty Schoolgirl, but that’s a story for another day). I have only ever worn these with long pants, usually jeans, and they’re a comfy alternative to heels for my professional wardrobe.