But I went dancing last night. I was afraid it wouldn't be fun - or, more accurately, I was worried that it would be awkward and uncomfortable. For one thing, the event was a reunion of a dance group of which I was never actually a member. Lest you think I was totally crashing the party, I was, in fact, invited to the event. It's just that I was invited by mistake (as were a few others), because I have been a part of so many dance groups with so many of those dancers that they tend to assume I was a part of this one - the one having the reunion - also.
What was even better, though, was that last night, I remembered who "Lara" is. I spend almost all day, every day, being "Miss David," and I'm rarely ever "Lara" anymore. "Miss David" is a teacher, and she's a good teacher, and she's a hard teacher, and she kicks your butt and makes you learn but only because she loves you. But I'm more than that, though I never get to see it anymore.
I won't lie, though - being "Lara" isn't all fun and games.
Who are your multiple personalities? Are you sometimes "Jane," sometimes "John's wife," sometimes "Jimmy's mom"? What helps you remember the YOU inside?
6 comments:
I know what you mean about losing 'Lara'. Many women are incredible at staying home with their kids - they make it into so much more than I did, I am ashamed to say. By the end of 4 years I felt I didn't know how I was anymore. I was somebody's wife, somebody's mom. I needed a place to just be BetteJo. For me - it meant going to work. I like your way of remembering Lara better though, sounds fun!
Maybe you should let yourself be Lara a little more often. Miss David needs to have some fun.
Sounds like a fun night for you! I am Monique online and ... not Monique in real life. When I meet bloggers I have to introduce myself as "Monique/(real name)." It gets old, but that's what I get for choosing Monique four years ago!
nope. I'm always the depressed Jessica.
hmmm, what title to choose. I am Del but I don't really know who I am. I can fill in the list of what I used to be - dancer, dance teacher, costume designer, standby wardrobe assistant, business owner, market researcher, data manager, country girl and the list goes on. Now the list is shorter - mum, wife, youth worker, sports coach. The question for me is what do I want to do next?
I am glad you had fun finding 'Lara' again.
I understand you completely. I've been a stay-at-home mom now for 2.5 yrs. Honestly, I hate it. My kids are all school aged, but with my youngest having had a rough time with schools until recently (ADHD- had a hard time finding the right school for him), it's been a necessity for me to stay home. Along with just being "Mom", I'm just N's wife- with the negativity that can go along with this and come from in-laws.
Somehow, being at home for the kids has become a big negative, not only to me (because, well, I love working and having a life outside the home), but also to everyone around me, as if it makes me less of a person, a lazy person (I'm not, thank you!) or unable to take care of myself. Then this translates into not having needs of my own or being less of a person to those around me.
I'm still very much "Oregon", but Oregon has gotten lost in duty and necessity and now depression.
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