Last night I went dancing. I don't go dancing much anymore, but it used to be a huge part of my life. My close friends were all dancers, and I used to have rehearsals, performances, or social dance events to attend 6-7 times a week. Now, though, my life is pretty much work and... work. There is little to no time for dancing.
But I went dancing last night. I was afraid it wouldn't be fun - or, more accurately, I was worried that it would be awkward and uncomfortable. For one thing, the event was a reunion of a dance group of which I was never actually a member. Lest you think I was totally crashing the party, I was, in fact, invited to the event. It's just that I was invited by mistake (as were a few others), because I have been a part of so many dance groups with so many of those dancers that they tend to assume I was a part of this one - the one having the reunion - also. But if anyone was angry that I was there, they hid it well, because I never had anyone walk up and call me a poser and tell me to get out of their event.
I remembered, last night, that dancing is FUN. That dancing makes me SMILE and LAUGH. That after dancing to the point of heaving breath and aching muscles I feel GOOD.
What was even better, though, was that last night, I remembered who "Lara" is. I spend almost all day, every day, being "Miss David," and I'm rarely ever "Lara" anymore. "Miss David" is a teacher, and she's a good teacher, and she's a hard teacher, and she kicks your butt and makes you learn but only because she loves you. But I'm more than that, though I never get to see it anymore. I'm also "Lara," and "Lara" is a dancer.
I won't lie, though - being "Lara" isn't all fun and games. "Lara" has problems that "Miss David" doesn't. Problems with relationships, old and new, problems with loneliness, with depression, with broken hearts that never seem to heal no matter how much time goes by. But still, in spite of that, it's good to remember that "Lara" is still there, even if "Miss David" is out more often these days.
Who are your multiple personalities? Are you sometimes "Jane," sometimes "John's wife," sometimes "Jimmy's mom"? What helps you remember the YOU inside?