Monday, January 21, 2008

Boy, Oh Boy!

Someone recently asked me if, in my years as a nanny, I've worked with more boys or more girls. And I thought about it for a moment before I realized: I've never worked with a girl.

"Wow," I said. "I better have boys when I have my kids - I'd have no idea what to do with a girl!"

I have experience with boys ranging pretty much from infancy to age 6, but other than my brief stint at the preschool, I've never worked with little girls. I can't remember the last time I changed a little girl's diaper, the last time I took a little girl to the park, the last time I helped potty train a little girl. All my experience is with little boys.

So what has all that experience with the little XY's taught me? Well...

- Boys won't want to do anything unless you present it as the lesser of two evils. ("Would you rather go to the dentist or stay locked in this dark closet with this angry beaver?")

- Boys like to climb. A lot. Don't take your eyes off them for an instant, lest you find them at the top shelf of the kitchen cabinets juggling glass vases.

- Protect your abdomen at all times - your back can sustain much greater abuse than your uterus can. And it will sustain abuse.

- Whether or not their outfits match is significantly less important than whether or not their outfits are washable.

- Once you introduce the word "gun" to their vocabulary, it won't go away. EVER.

- Toes are fascinating. But they're not quite as fascinating as a penis.

- When potty training a boy, make sure they know that the penis has to be pointing towards the toilet bowl for any pee to make it in the potty. If it's pointing up, pee goes ALL over the bathroom.

- Boys sustain injuries. Most of the time, they aren't that bad, so don't freak out. Bumps and bruises happen, but they also go away.

What I have not learned, however, is that boys are in any less emotionally complete than girls. I have shared such beautiful moments with my little boys, and never have I believed them to be hard-hearted in any way. The hugs are perhaps even more special for coming after an enthusiastic wrestling match.

So here's to you, Julie, and your impending doom coming blessing in the form of a beautiful baby boy. Never doubt that while the challenges are different, the rewards are no less.

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This post is a part of Julie's special online baby shower, hosted by Kristen and Cathy. If you'd like to share some of your baby-boy-wisdom with the internet, grab a button and join the fun. Hey, a baby shower without stupid diaper games? Awesome!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude, I'm such the opposite. I cannot handle little boys and God help me if I have them!

Maxie said...

I've babysat for both...and girls are way easier when they're little...but I think boys are more fun.

Julie Marsh said...

I had to laugh because my experience in babysitting and child care has been exactly opposite yours. All girls, all the time! Hence, my slight freakout when I discovered that this baby is an unknown quantity for me.

I love the list. Thank you so much for the wise words and encouragement!

BetteJo said...

I have one of each, very different but both special, fun, and loving in their own ways.

Mayberry said...

I am so going to try that angry beaver trick. Thanks!

And thanks for joining in on the fun.

Lara said...

mothergoosemouse - well it's a good thing you have all of us sharing our wisdom with you! ;)

mayberry - angry badgers, possums, and raccoons also work equally well.

Hanlie said...

What a great babyshower idea. I'm going to put you in charge of organizing one for me when the time comes! And yes, we're hoping for a boy.

Anonymous said...

Tell me more about this angry beaver...

Lisa said...

Funny, I think I have more experience with little girls... but a special tender spot in my heart for every little boy I've ever worked with or babysat.... this post was sweet, thank you!

Lara said...

kaiser - it's pissed off. and rabid. that's really all you need to know.

Lindz said...

You are set! I have more experince with boys too but I also have some with girls. I think the penis is much more harder to master when it comes to diaper changing, potty training, don't touch that in public training, you know...

Lara said...

lindz - hell, i know plenty of grown men who never got the "don't touch that in public" training. ;)

Guilty Secret said...

Wow, the online baby shower is such a fab idea!

Anonymous said...

girls are simpler to handle than boys. boys do a lot of activities but its very extremely.

but since im a boy, i'd love being handling my son.! ehehe

Dee said...

I just realized last week that pretty much all of my child care experiences have also been with boys. I'm going to have a little girl in two months! I have no idea how to handle girls!