Sunday, December 02, 2007

Shoes and Searches

Well, I opted to take a day of rest after all, well-deserved for my month of posting. But I know that at least one of you has already started the LaBloShoeMo fun - yay! And now it's my turn.

I've decided to start off a decadent month dedicated to shoes with my most frivolous and decadent pair... so far. These hot pink, Mary Jane pumps have a glossy shine that can be dressed up or down. I love wearing these with dark jeans and a cute top out to dinner or drinks with friends, but they also go stunningly with nice dresses for a more formal look. What "need" did my wardrobe have for hot pink heels? Absolutely none. But they are fun and fresh, and for a twentysomething gal who loves her shoes, that comes darn close to being a "need" in the shoe closet.

People In Search of Their Soul Mates

steph love eight years - Will just anyone named Steph do, or does it have to be a specific Steph?

letter write someone miss jail - Just send a bunch of letters to the prison of your choice, telling them you miss someone. Or that someone misses jail. Or something like that. I'm sure you'll get plenty of offers for something.

tilf free dating - Better living for a tilf-free world.

dressing room help underwear - The man willing to help me try on my underwear is so clearly the one for me.

Roofies for sale - This one is apparently not so much in search of his soul mate as he is in search of a way to abduct his soul mate. Go away, Creepy Person!

i will change myself for the one who deserve me - Into what? Are you like the Wonder Twins? "Form of... Perfect Mate!"

ed loves lara - And Lara loves shoes. Size 9.5 - good luck, Ed.

Picture This...

martina Mcbride paper towel sparkle - So, is she sparkling, or the paper towel? Your poor sentence construction confuses me!

swim themed comforter - Not ocean themed, and not sealife themed, but swim themed. Find me one of those for Christmas, m'kay?

a fun day in my life - Is it anything like a fun day in my life? Because if so, you should know that any photographic evidence of this is actually illegal in seven states.

frightened person's face - Oh, wait, I do have a picture of this! Here to the right, you see a lovely photo of me holding what I strongly believe is a Mexican sewer rat in plush form. Who would buy something this ugly?

GOOGLE DENTAL HEADGEAR IMAGES - Okay, don't get me wrong, I'm honored that you came to me for this (if 'honored' = deeply disturbed), but wouldn't a Google image search have been a better idea?

painting of smiling tramp with sunflower by major - Wow. That's a very detailed description, but I just don't have what you're looking for. Can I interest you in a photograph of a frightened blogger with sewer rat by shelves?

"girls without shirts" - Um, yeah, we just covered that a couple weeks ago.

"How To" Google-ages

how to stop hitting in my classroom - Have you tried counting to ten before smacking the kids around? Your other option is, of course, electric shock therapy.

how to make husband wear pantyhose - 1) Blackmail. 2) Withhold sex. 3) Cry.

how to heal a friendship - 1) Blackmail. 2) Withhold sex. 3) Cry. (Depending on the nature of your friendship, option #2 may not work very well.)

how to date multiple people - Very, very carefully. If possible, try to talk everyone involved into an orgy - it's really in everyone's best interest. Use that as one of your reasons.

how to grope snobby girl whine - You pretty much grope her the same way you would any other girl. Although the whining may end up convincing you she's not worth your time, in which case you should take your groping to someone who'll appreciate it.

how to take a short shower - Rig up a pulley system such that for every second you spend in the shower, a beloved household pet is lowered closer to a large tub of water. To avoid Fluffy's imminent demise, you've got three minutes to be out. Ready, set, go!

Happy Sunday!


Lindz said...

Are those NYLONS you're wearing with those decadent pink shoes?

Lara said...

yes, i was sparing you all from my blindingly pale legs. you should be thanking me. really.

Bryan said...

If Fluffy's a cat, I'd probably shower a little longer. Oh wait, "beloved"... Right.

Amanda said...

Purrrrrr, good for you. And yay! I'd been hoping you'd do some shoe posts again!

Mrs. Chili said...

I'm going to live vicariously through you this month. I never got the shoe thing, so I'm going to try to learn a little this month...

Maggie said...

I'm with Mrs. Chili - my shoe wardrobe is essentially made up of tennis shoes and a few pairs of boots - hopefully I can learn a lot!

tmb said...

tilf free dating - And here I thought they wanted a free dating service to find tilfs. But maybe that's just my mind in the gutter :)

Lara said...

mrs. chili and i know you can hear me... - i will keep you guys in mind this month and try to give more "lessons" than i might otherwise. ;)

Major Bedhead said...

My shoe wardrobe is a sad, sorry thing these days, so I'll just enjoy yours. I love those shoes. They are seriously cute.

One of The Bug's first words was "shoes." I think I may take her with me on my next trip to DSW and watch her lose her little mind. "Shoooooooes, mama! Shoooooooooooes!"

Teacher Anonymous said...

Hey, congratulations on winning stuff.

Aussie Boy said...

I once read that "An expert is someone who knows the most common mistakes made in their field and how to avoid them".

On the topic of "how to date multiple people" I have my Degree in Mistake-ology. Slept through the Mistake-Avoidance classes though, so I'm a Polygamy Crash-Test Dummy at best.

Aussie Boy said...

Oh and my apologies if my comments are few and far between. I'm at home for the next month and will be suffering from partial-internetular-paralysis.

Lara said...

aussie boy - mistakes? you? i don't believe it. and no worries on posting infrequency; congrats on being home, though! :)

Guilty Secret said...

Love the shoes :)

Today I got "can roast beef make you feel drunk?" - hahahahahaha!

brooke said...

I love those pink shoes.
Thanks for the comment! I'm new to this blogging thing, so that was encouraging. I'm having fun doing the shoe thing.

srah said...

I love those pink shoes!