Monday, November 12, 2007

Facebook: The New Bane of My Existence

Yes, damnit, I did it. I joined Facebook. I know some of you out there probably hate me for being a traitor to the cause of breastfeeding mamas everywhere, and believe me, it kept me from joining for a long time. But eventually, I realized how many people from my childhood and high school I could reconnect with, and combining that with how much spare time I currently have on my hands, it was a recipe for disaster. And so I gave in and joined.

And now? Now I spend hours a day on Facebook.

Of course, I don't actually think I'll keep spending so much time on it after I get used to it. A lot of the time I'm spending now is trying to find all the various people I want to add as friends, plus checking up on my friends list to see who's accepted my friend invitations, and then checking their friends to see if there are any more people to add as friends... So yeah, I'm desperate for friends. I like feeling popular - sue me.

Of course, I've added some of my bloggy friends to my Facebook community. The problem there is that, as many of you already know, "Lara David" is not my real name.


Yes, Lara is a nom de blog. I think of it as a pen name, but it's still me. Lara David is actually a very important part of my personality now, and I don't think of that name as a made-up person, or a lie, or anything like that. It's just... the name of my writer persona.

(If you're curious, by the way, this is the post where I sort of explain why I changed the name.)

But yeah, Lara David isn't my real name, which means when I send invites to be my friend, it comes from someone else. I figure my picture is enough to make it clear who I am, and I've generally only gone to folks who've been reading and/or commenting regularly enough for me to trust them with my real name.

And now, some questions:

1. Are you on Facebook? If so, what do you get out of it? If not, why not?

2. If you are on Facebook, do you want to be my friend? If you're not, do you want to be my friend anyway?

3. Did you know "Lara David" was a pen name? If so, did you know my real name also? If not, do you feel betrayed or lied to now that you know?

4. Boxers, briefs, or boxer-briefs?

Thank you for your participation in this important reader poll.


jittacatgirl said...

1) Yes, I'm on facebook. I keep in touch with my friends from home, people I meet at races and dance events, etc. I also use it to stalk fine lookin' men.
2) Already am your friend. I defile your wall.
3) WHAT?! I've been getting rent checks from Lara David! You mean I can't cash those?
4) i have all manner of sexy panties

Kennethwongsf said...

1. Yes, I'm on Facebook. The truth is, I don't get anything out of it. I joined because a woman I know (and like) was on it. She's since moved on to Tribe, but I'm stuck in Facebook.

2. I'm more active on MySpace. Regardless, I'd be thrilled to be added to either your Facebook or MySpace circle.

3. Whatever your real name is, it hardly affects the emotional truth and the authenticity of the personal experiences you've shared with us. But I'd feel betrayed if you turn out to be a bearded man of advanced years with a crooked smile, who bears no resemblance to the disarming creature I've come to believe in.

4. I've been briefed far too long to be a boxer now.

sweetanemone said...


1. yeah i'm on facebook. i use it to keep in touch with uni friends. it's also great for procrastination which helps when doing exams! (or maybe it doesn't)

2. i'd love to be your friend. you can find me if you do a search for amy gaukroger.

3. i had no idea if you were called lara or not. but it's fine with me either way :)

4. boxer briefs, best of both worlds!

Anonymous said...

1. Yes, I succumbed to Facebook, but am the worst, because I only ever reply to messages and nothing else. I hate having to download applications all the time and I still can't find my wall, or even my super-wall. Whatever!
2. Of course I'll be your friend. You'll have to find me though. Which now makes me think... I got a friend request yesterday from a name I didn't recognize and I haven't checked it out! It could be you!
3. I really had no idea! But I'm cool with it... Of course you need to protect your privacy.
4. Ah, I like my man in boxers! Keeps the sperm cool... And that's important if one wants cool kids!

Aussie Boy said...

> 1. Are you on Facebook?

Yeah, but purely for medicinal purposes, and only because it was prescribed by my holistic naturopathy guru.

> If so, what do you get out of it?

A sense of spiritual enlightenment and centrality in these turbulent times.

> 2. If you are on Facebook, do you want to be my friend?

The Buddha teaches us to become free of the burdens of material things. I'm sorry Lara, you're too real.

> 3. Did you know "Lara David" was a pen name?

Yes, and a clever one at that.

> If so, did you know my real name also?

Scarred into my being it is.

4. Boxers, briefs, or boxer-briefs?

You so already know the answer to that one. (For those unaware, my underwear consists of an entire bodysuit made of the cones described by Lara in a recent blogpost. Kinda like a porcupine, but in a good way. Personally I don't get what all the fuss is about.)

shelleycoughlin said...

I am on Facebook, and I love the Scrabble game on there. So fun! The rest of it is very meh.

I did not know Lara David was a pen name. So strange to think of you as something else. :)

Mayberry said...

1) not on facebook -- blogging is enough of a time suck
2) I still want to be your friend!
3) I had a vague sense that it wasn't your real name. I think I know your real first name. I don't feel betrayed -- everyone has her own way of handling anonymity on the web.
4) as a wearer, I'll go with briefs. As a viewer, I am partial to the boxer-brief.

Anonymous said...

how did i not know it wasn't your real name??!?!! :)

but i recognized you right away by your that should win me some points!!!!!

Dee said...

1. Yes, I'm on facebook, but rarely use it. I actually use MySpace more because most of my family and friends are on there.

2. I would love to be your friend!

3. Yes, I knew Lara David was a pen name and for some reason I think I might have known your real name at one point in time, but I still just think of you as Lara.

4. Boxer-briefs, but I still can't seem to convince Hubby to switch!

Anonymous said...

1. Yes. I got a mwah! out of it.
2. We're already friends! Yippee!
3. Yes. Yes. But I'm going to feel a little betrayed anyway just to add some drama.
4. None if I'm lucky...

Anonymous said...

I knew you before the pseudo name came into play, so no worries from me! (Although I did like sending you mail to Lara.. hee. Am strange.)

And since I already have you on Facebook, now I can stalk to my heart's content. Wahoo!

P.S. Jitta's comments made me giggle.

mks said...

1. Yes I am on facebook, mostly for giggles and to see what my neice and nephew are up to (hey they told me I could).

2.Yes yes I want to be your friend.

3. Nope no idea that Lara David was a pen name. I like the idea of a pen name.

4. Please Boxers only. Please?!?

tmb said...

1. Yes. I finally caved last June, mostly to keep up with friends that were scattering. I actually don't spend a ton of time on it because it's not something I'm really into, but I check my home page feed thing every so often to see what friends are up to.
2. Of course!
3. That would be a yes. It took me a bit to get used to but now I think I've integrated the two names together in my head so that one is what I call you in person and the other is for on the blog, and it doesn't seem strange.
4. Boxers =)

Unknown said...

1-Not on facebook
2-will have to be your friend through blogs
3-I am SHOCKED. and VERY curious what your real name is. Lara David is a fabulous pen name.
4-my husband wears boxer briefs and makes them look oh so cute.

Still Jill B said...

1. Not on facebook - was already on myspace and while I find it theoretically a good way to catch up, realistically I don't need to spread myself so thin. Some days I'm transparent, anyway.

2. Yes, anyway.

3. I did know your real name, and that it is not Lara David, but I'm not completely sure when I became aware. I think it was a confirmation when I got an email from "Your Real Name" (you know, in foster care/adoption, when someone says, "your 'real' parent" they get reprimanded for not using the correct word - all parents are real, whether foster, adoptive, or otherwise).

4. Each has their place, though I am not so keen on the briefs, and particularly un-keen on the bikini's. Ewww.

Teacher Anonymous said...

1. Yes. It's nice to keep in touch with old friends. I really like looking at other people's pictures.

2. Totally. I don't go by my name on my blog either, though. Well, I'm one of Alynda's friends on Facebook, so I'll just look you up.

3. I knew, as I was reading prior to the change. I have since forgotten your actual name (and feel a bit silly for it).

4. Boxer briefs on guys (revealing while not being too explicit), boxers for my lounging around the house delight.

flutter said...

You already found me :) I like your real name, too

BetteJo said...

1.Uh no. No Facebook for me, mainly because it tends toward a younger crowd. I (sniff) don't quite fit.

2. I can't be your Facebook friend but of course I would love to be a regular old garden variety bloggy friend. Afterall, I DID recognize your butt at Nutmegs place!

3. No I absolutely had no idea Lara David isn't your real name, and I think I kind of gasped when I read it. Does it make a difference? Not to me. I guess I am more surprised than I might have been if you called yourself The Curly Spaceheater or something. Lara David just didn't seem like a name to question I guess!

4. And oh my gosh it's boxer briefs all the way. I wish they had had them when I was younger but I do appreciate them on an older tush as well!

Anonymous said...

1) sort of...i share a fake facebook page with a friend that used to spy on people.

1a) nothing...i think it's all real weird... no real dialogue, it's kinda creepy (and invasive) to see who you're associated with. it's not that i'm anti-social networking, but i think there are better ways to share with people via the internet. that, and i remember the days when a "facebook" was an actual book printed and given to people who spent most of their time looking for people to hook up with, or looking for the picture of people they may have made out with. oh yeah, and i was an early and ardent supporter of livejournal.

2) no, thank you.

3) yeah, yeah, it's all good

4) if i think facebook is invasive...

Major Bedhead said...

1. I'm not on Facebook anymore because of the breastfeeding brouhaha. And all the poking. What the hell is that?
2. I thought all my internet weirdo friends were just figments of my imagination.
3. I did know that Lara David wasn't your real name. I think I know your real first name. I don't use my name on my blog either - people are often confused when they get an email from me.
4. Boxer briefs. Or boxers. Anything but the dreaded tighty whities.

Anonymous said...

Ooh! You should totally change your name to The Curly Spaceheater!