Thursday, September 06, 2007

Willingly Humiliating Myself, Yet Again

Boy, it's been a while since my last Thursday Thirteen, eh? Records show more than a month since the last one, for which I apologize to any TT fans out there.

This week, I've decided to place myself in the figurative stocks of the blogosphere and let you all laugh at me through some really old photos. Okay, well, the photos aren't really old, because I'm only 25 myself. But they seem really damn old to me. And I look pretty silly in some of them. But for you, my readers, I'll share them, simply out of the hope that it might bring a smile to your face. Or, in some cases, floods of tears down your cheeks as you laugh at a younger and dorkier Lara.

Thirteen Old Photos of Lara

1. Seeser and Lara

I also like to call this "Dork Child and the Michelin Man." I make fun of Seeser all the time for how huge a nerd she was as a child. Seriously? With the huge glasses? Who can help but mock? But then, of course, she reminds me that I'm no one to laugh, given that I look like The Baby That Ate Cincinnati.

2. Lara, age 8

This would be my second grade school picture. And that would be plaid on my sleeves.

3. Rocking the Recital Clothes

At least, I'm really hoping those are recital clothes. I'm pretty sure that's a leotard, and the sparkly belt with the polka dot skirt sure seems like it would be for a tap show. But really, I wasn't the most fashion-conscious gal at this age, so I don't really know.

4. The First Football Pic

This was our first season as water girls for Dad's high school football team, and boy were we excited. Mom made us these lovely sweatshirts with our names embroidered on them for us to wear at games, and Dad talked the photography studio into giving us a free picture each year when they took the team shots. Oh, and as you can see, Seeser has not yet lost the big, dorky glasses, but I have lost my baby fat. Ha!

5. Glamour Shots the First

In fifth grade, what I wanted more than anything in the world was to go to Glamour Shots in the mall and get my hair and makeup done and get cool pictures taken. My mom took me and it was awesome. And no, I have no explanation for my choice of clothing. I was 10 - sparkles were cool.

6. The Penultimate Football Pic

I don't have a copy of our last year's picture, but this is the next-to-last pic. By this time, I was still a water girl, but Seeser had moved on to Stat Girl, which seemed soooo cooool to me at the time. Note that she's lost the dorky glasses, but has added some damn ugly socks. Oh, and I'm wearing my shorts up around my ribcage. Hot.

7. Family at Church

Check out me and Mom, with our hip floral prints. Oh, and my bangs? Hideous. But hey, look at my mom's hair and then tell me I'm not doing pretty well for myself.

8. Cheer Portraits, Eighth Grade

I'm the one in the back, in case you couldn't recognize the stringy bangs. Oh, and how hot are the braces? Mm-hmm...

9. Glamour Shots the Second

I think I loved Glamour Shots WAY too much, seriously. But at least this time I'm a little more subtle and understated in my fashion. It's funeral chic, don't you know.

10. Eighth Grade Graduation

Boy, this is a blast from the past - a throwback to the days when my mom was actually taller than I was. I think the bag in my hand is a gift from my best friend Heidi's parents. She complained that they liked me more than her, because they got me a present but not her. I replied that this might be because I treated them better than she did. (Besides, they loved (and love) her plenty. She was just being snarky. That's why we're friends.)

11. Winter Formal, Freshman Year

Sadly, I can't find the picture from Homecoming this year, which would be my very first high school dance EVER. My dress here wouldn't be too bad, if I had any sort of boobs whatsoever to hold it up. Oh, and my braces could probably be overcome by a good hairdo, by which I mean anything other than what my hair is actually doing here (read: lying in limp strings around my pasty face). It's a tough call who's looking cooler - me, or my date.

12. The First Boyfriend

Because every teenager needs pictures from a photo booth, right? Yeah, he was, um, kind of a dork. But then, I wasn't doing much better, so who am I to judge. Oh, and look - no tongue piercing yet!

13. Flanked by the Boys

This is approximately three weeks after my dad died, which is still strange to me. I'd been invited to another high school's prom, as had my two brothers. With such a high percentage of our group living in our house, we did all the pre-dance pictures at our place, including this one of the three of us. Even though none of us actually look that good, I still love this picture for the nostalgia.


Well, thanks for joining me on this trip down Memory Lane. If you're feeling slightly light-headed, please sit down with your head between your knees and avert your eyes from the horrible photos on this page.

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Anonymous said...

I loved these, you were gorgeous from a wee girl and are still gorgeous now!

Kennethwongsf said...

Your debut glamor shot is adorable. You look like a very young Samantha Fox.

Still Jill B said...

Certainly don't disparage the hair or clothing choices.You were living in the moment, dear.

Guilty Secret said...

What a great post... number 5 was my favourite... you looked so happy to be there, like you thought it was the coolest thing in the world!

Anonymous said...

I love the football shots, especially!

Yuriko said...

So cool! I love these photos... especially the youthful glamour shots ;)

Lara said...

guilty secret - it WAS the coolest thing in the world! ;)

BetteJo said...

Love the pics! No, seriously, love them! I'm with the others - the glamour shots rule!

Anonymous said...

Over from flutter, and this was wonderful -- although I may have to mock you forever for the glamour shots. (Please please please don't ever look in my own glamour closet.)
Great post!


flutter said...

Oh my god I have a goth-girl does glamor shots complete with a very bershon expression and a hideous amount of both vinyl and velvet.

and the bangs. OH THE HORROR!!

mks said...

Love that THursday Thirteen! The Glamour Shot are AWESOME. I remember when me and my mom went to do that only she had the photos taken - would you believe my dad still has that photo on his desk! HA!

mks said...

Love that THursday Thirteen! The Glamour Shot are AWESOME. I remember when me and my mom went to do that only she had the photos taken - would you believe my dad still has that photo on his desk! HA!

Anonymous said...

Not laughing at all! Thank you for sharing those, and it's nice to see you back in TT land again!

Anonymous said...

Were you born with those bangs?? Adorable pics, and even the glamour ones!! As I look at them again, you really haven't changed!! (Kidding!!) You were and ARE adorable!!!!

Lara said...

r u serious? - if you'll look at that first picture, it seems i was born with the bangs. and while i may still be adorable (thanks for that, btw), at least i've ditched the awful bangs. :-P

Anonymous said...


Got to love those high-waisted jeans. It's a wonder we don't all have wicked cases of thrush.

Angela said...

Your first Glamour Shot is my fave. Are Glamour Shots still around anymore? I haven't seen one in a mall for decades. How sad that the younger generation will never know what it's like to get giant hairsprayed hair and wear bedazzled outfits with feather boas.

Amanda said...

I really loved this.

Lara said...

angela - i'm pretty sure there's one in the mall near my mom. and seems to indicate they're still in thriving business... and looking for models!

Lady M said...

I love these pictures! Glamour shots indeed!

Big hair was rough on the ozone layer, but sure makes for entertaining memories.