Sunday, August 26, 2007

Arts and Crafts Google-age

One of the myths a lot of people seem to hold about my job is that it's all playtime. Certainly the kids have a lot of time to play and have fun, but I? Don't really get to join in. Since I'm always supervising, I don't get to run around the playground with them, and I never get to do the fun art projects. There was one time I tried drawing with the kids during afternoon art time, and Boss Lady got upset, saying that if any parents saw me doing that they'd be very upset. Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I'm not supposed to be playing or having fun with the kids - it's better to be distant and cold, right?

Well, because of this, I decided to host a little arts and crafts day for me and some friends. Boss Lady was kind enough to let me borrow any and all art supplies I wanted, as well as a work table and some of those tiny plastic kiddie chairs. Attendees included New Boy, Tali and K., and Graham. We made collages, decorated picture frames, painted greeting cards, and had general merriment all around. I highly recommend this as a fun way to get together with friends on a sunny weekend afternoon. Because doesn't this look like fun?

(That's New Boy on the left in the green.)

Besides, now I have a decorated fridge:

If you want a greeting card that looks like it was made by a 3-year-old, email me your address and I will send you a Lara David original.

And that's a bona fide offer.


I Want to Date These People

optical illusions thirteens man - Because nothing spices up a relationship like having your man suddenly disappear. Or become thirteen of himself.

Dr Pepper Berries and Cream guy - You know, he's not too bad. But that Starburst Berries N' Cream guy? Now he's hot.

fortune tellers telling me at what age i will die - What a handy person to have around, someone who knows when I'll die and isn't afraid to tell me. Of course, that might be a pretty big mood-killer, you know? "Oh, honey, you're so hot. It's too bad you'll be dying in a fiery crash next Thursday."

struggling depression twentysomething - We're like peas in a pod! Clearly, we were made for each other. We'll drag each other down into our respective depressions until we self-destruct in a big pile of flames and ash. And we'll probably have great sex along the way.

miss ish - Miss Ish is awesome. Why would anyone not want to date her?

ophelia king crab - I think this world needs more crustacean-human interbreeding.

i'm sweet but not enough to give you a toothache - That's good, because I hate toothaches. But I do like boys who are sweet. I also like cookies. And cupcakes. And boxes of chocolate. And did I mention the cookies?

Mr. Darcy and rising out of the water - Oh yeah... I'll be having sweet dreams tonight after thinking about that scene. Oh, Colin Firth, how hot you are swimming around with no shirt on.

Oh It Seems Like a Good Idea Now...

sleepover tickle - Tickle fights area brilliantly entertaining part of sleepovers... until you start tickling that one girl who completely lacks bladder control. That's when the game stops being fun.

learning to love myself - Very important part of life. However, if you're looking for a support group, make sure it's not a "self-love" support group. Those are different. Trust me.

tickling as flirting - See above, where I discuss bladder control.

letters of encouragement to your daughter - "Dearest daughter, I am so proud of what you have accomplished so far in your life. When you accepted your prize as second runner-up at Stripperlympics 2004, I cried tears of joy. Now that you've accepted Paco the Pimp's kind offer, I hope you might consider moving out of my basement. Love, Mom."

Rolling Chairs for Education - Not the greatest fund-raising endeavor in the history of high schools.

twist oreos lick frosting - Enough twisting and you'll have a nasty case of carpal tunnel, mister.

banging sisters best friend - Yeah, when you're a horny 16-year-old boy, this always seems like a good idea. It's really not.

cinnamon trident discussion - It's nice until those damned spearmint enthusiasts show up and ruin everything.

see my underwear skirt - You think it's a good idea to write about what's under your skirt, but then you start getting creepy emails from strange men asking to get "more information" about what's down there. Yeah, that's not frightening at all...

sending your date on a scavenger hunt before the date - How sweet! But two days later, when she still hasn't returned, you'll have a lot to answer for.

And the WTF?! for today goes to:

diagramming sentences because city roads are crowed, I will buy a bicycle.

To which we say: WTF?!

Any strange searches for you lately?


Anonymous said...

Evidently someone would like help diagramming the sentence "Because city roads are crow[d]ed, I will buy a bicycle." Well, Miss English Major? Let's see the diagram.

Is Novus Puer by chance another charming math/science/eng PhD student? Because those guys are totally cool and super dateable. Seriously.

Lara said...

franz - i don't do diagrams. unless forced. or paid VERY well. and no, New Boy is not a PhD student. he used to be, at cornell, but he graduated already. he's a physics nerd. i apparently have a thing for charming mathematicians, scientists, and engineers. seriously. :-P

Anonymous said...

In this case, used-to-be is just as good. What kind of physics?

Unknown said...

I LOVE that you gave yourself well deserved arts and crafts time. These are the things that matter most. Also- I disagree with Boss Lady. I don't think the parents would be upset to see you coloring along...maybe a bit jealous...

Anonymous said...

I didn't want to be the first to say it, but now that Tori has, my inhibitions have crumbled. What's up with Boss Lady? Not play with the kids? WTF? (By which I mean, "What's the fuss?")

Surely parents want the staff to play with and challenge the kids. When I draw with the kids I tutor, they almost always want to try to do what I'm doing: it's the perfect way to make them stretch their imaginations and spatial reasoning abilities.

flutter said...

You are hilarious.

jittacatgirl said...

um, i think mr. darcy was actually wearing a shirt when he swam around. it was just a wet shirt. a very wet shirt. *sigh*

Miss A said...

I love the idea!!!!! I need to host an arts and crafts day. You are always doing something really cool--making me jealous down here.

Lara said...

franz - i don't know exactly, but the word "photodissociation" seems to come up a lot in his publications. i'm sure if we wait long enough, he'll leave a comment telling you something more.

tori and miss roo - i totally agree, but it's her school, so i can't exactly tell her to take a flying leap.

flutter - why thank you. :-P

jitta - yes, you're right of course, but still so hot.

miss a - you should get some friends together and do it too!

Anonymous said...

I love your craft day idea. Fun!

Anonymous said...

Heh... the optical illusions one reminded me of Gob Bluth from Arrested Development. Hilarious!

Dallas Blue said...

oooh! craft table! FUN.

why aren't you supposed to play with the kids? I'm confused. hm.

well hello New Boy. When does New Boy transition into "the Boy"?

Still Jill B said...

I'm glad I'm far from the only one bumfuzzled by this no-play-with-the-kids phenomenon, but let's say it's true. WHAT kind of parents are you "working for"? I can't imagine. That reinforces so many messages I would not want my children to have.

Lara said...

sassy - hm, good question. i guess when we decide we're committed enough to give ourselves some bf/gf labels or something.

jill b - this probably merits its own post at some point, but mostly, i work for snobby rich parents who have no understanding of positive human interaction when it comes to their children. it's very sad, in my opinion.

Kennethwongsf said...

Arts and craft party--what a wonderful idea! I can think of one possible reason for Boss Lady's attitude towards staff participation in children's art projects--she has no artistic talent.

(PS: I stumbled on your blog through a comment you left on someone else'.)