Thursday, June 21, 2007

Fun with Google

Thursday Thirteen #16:
Thirteen Things Lara Needs, According to Google

This is a fun game to play: Type "[your name] needs" into Google, and see what the top searches are. You'd be shocked to discover all you're apparently missing in your life...

Lara needs...

1. ... to get laid. [Swear to God, that was the first one that came up.]

2. ... to stick with Brad's plan. [Who is Brad? And what does his plan entail?]

3. ... to learn how to drive a car at night. [Hey! I'm an excellent driver.]

4. ... some happy white pills. [I already have some happy pink pills. They keep me from strangling people in their sleep. Allegedly...]

5. ... to prevent herself from going under. [Under what? Water? The table? The knife?]

6. ... SSI prayer requests. [So long as 'SSI' doesn't stand for "Satan's Satanic Intervention" or something.]

7. ... a break. [True, I need a break from all this free time. It's just too much.]

8. ... to do something serious that isn't direct to video. [My acting days are long behind me, thankyouverymuch. But I'll consider going back to it, now that you've brought it up.]

9. ... to steal one. [Whatever that one is, it'll be stolen by midnight.]

10. ... to make a few gonzo pornos to update her resume. [Okay, whoa. When I said I'd consider going back to acting, this was not what I had in mind...]

11. ... a Friend. [And not just any friend. A Friend.]

12. ... to see the shot. [What shot? Where? Now I'm all paranoid about shootings.]

And, last, but certainly not least, Lara needs...

13. ... a hug and something absolutely wonderful to happen to her. [Now who could argue with that?]

So, what do you need?

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Teacha said...

i added your link.

I love this. . I did it with my name and b/c my name is so unusual it was weird . .. .

but I did like that I need a "spring break," "peace" "your help" "450 million"

Anonymous said...

Haha! Classic.

Aly needs:

*to accept that no one is self-sufficient all the time
*to learn that logic and reason are only part of the whole picture
*to do one (er, one what?)
*both her father’s skills and her mother’s stubborn courage
*our support
*to watch more Martha Stewart shows

Bernie said...

I might go and 'punch my name' into google and see what I get...
Great list, and do stop on by and check out ours, if you get the time...

Anonymous said...

I need...

"to stop drinking the bong water"

"over 949000 signatures"

"to leave the paintball guns alone"

"to be a Redskin"

among other things. :)

Aussie Boy said...

"silly aussie boy needs guidance"

Enough said.

Still Jill B said...

That's fantastic!

I need... keep my mouth shut about things I know nothing about. move somewhere that doesn't necessitate wearing socks half the year.
and many more wonderful things.

Anonymous said...

this easily made my day, i can't even explain it....of the top ten, my favorite are:

ken needs a penis (first one)

ken needs a tan and better hair

ken needs to look effortless and cool without trying too hard

(all were barbie related)

without question the two most appropriate ones are:

ken needs to learn the balance between being a great friend, and being a poor fiancé


ken needs to come spend a few days with this angry woman

jittacatgirl said...

Jitta needs...

"a drink and to go to the Bahamas and find a man."

Oh hell yes.

Lindz said...

You officially have a "hood." I don't mean that to be dirty either for those of you who don't know that masters grads get hoods! I am one week into the process of getting mine, ahhhh!

Lara said...

proverbs - ooh, 450 million what? dollars? awesome!

aly - you have my support! i'm not sure i can help with any of the others, though.

B - welcome, and thanks for stopping by!

seeser - yeah, i've been telling you for years to stop drinking that bong water. i'm glad someone finally agrees with me. ;)

aussie boy - let me be your guide. to the dark side!

jill b - socks half the year? that's intense.

ken - i'm glad i could make your day. and yeah, ken (of ken and barbie) definitely needs a penis. poor barbie...

jitta - let's do it!

lindz - yeah, i was excited about getting to wear the hood. i felt so smart!

Anonymous said...

Just back from a week with no internet and catching up. Apparently what Tali needs is... play rugby
...a website to sell her badass necklaces teacher assistance with all aspects of learning [probably my favorite one] from as many people as possible [awww]
...more power? [yes, the ? was actually in there]

This was fun!

Lara said...

tali - you sell badass necklaces, and you've never given me one? that's harsh, my dear friend. harsh. :-P

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... when I googled "Lara needs" one of the first things that came up (other than this blog) was "new breasts."