Thirteen Google Searches That Sent Crazies to My Blog
1. half naked thursday - Um, I'm afraid this person was severely disappointed when he (yeah, I'm going to go ahead and assume this was a guy) got to the blog and saw no partial nudity.
2. equus adornments - Something like this maybe?
3. phrase indicating frustration - Couldn't you think of one on your own? You got so flustered that you had to Google the right phrase to express it? That must have been so. frustrating.
4. Linda Ronstadt I will always love you walmart - I love that this one is totally normal and predictable until the last word. This must have been her updated version for a special target audience.
5. my sister's boobs - I knew writing about those would get me in trouble. And I apologize profusely to you, Mocha, because he clicked over to your blog next. Maybe we're boosting the morale of our troops abroad, though, because this search came from Iraq. We're so patriotic.
6. how to make palm fronds - Can't you just go get them directly from the trees?
7. palm frond still life - I suggest starting with a bowl of fruit first. Palm fronds are awfully advanced. And apparently more popular than I realized, since multiple people search for them on Google.
8. junk food literature - Two great tastes that go great together.
9. living with disappointment - Wow, you cut right to the chase, don't you? Well, if you want to learn to live with disappointment, you've come to the right place.
10. tilf - The most disturbing thing is that this shows up as the most common search term for my blog, bar none. At least a few times a week, someone finds my blog because of TILFs. And now, I've probably just doubled the chances they'll find me.
11. antidote to poison - Oh my goodness, do you really have the time to be doing an internet search for this?! Call an ER, you loon! My favorite part, though, is that he/she clicked to my profile next, just in case I had any surprise information hidden there.
12. wonderbaby designs pants - Oh my God! She DOES?! HBM, why haven't you cashed in on this yet?!
And, best of all...
13. lara david foot fetish - Oh. My. God.
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