Monday, July 31, 2006

Something Rotten in the State of Sheridan

Sorry, folks. We had a nice little system going there for a while - Sunday, Wednesday, Sunday, Wednesday... But I think deep down, we all knew it couldn't last. Eventually, a week would come that didn't have a Sunday. Or didn't have a Wednesday. Or maybe - just maybe - didn't have either one. Okay, that didn't really happen, but I got busy. Sue me.

I'm still busy, so don't expect much from this post, which shall henceforth be known as: Weird Goings-On at 435 Sheridan.

Last week, as I was heading out to school, I walked to the elevator, pushed the button, waited for a bit - everything going according to the usual routine. I hear the elevator arrive, the doors open, and I see this:

Okay, Skepty McSkeptical, I realize it doesn’t look so scary to you now, from the comfort of your home or office or secret lair or wherever it is you are when you read my blog. But that’s because you’re safely screened from the creepiness by your computer and the awesome power of the internet. When I saw this, however, it was eerie. I leaned forward, craning my neck, cautiously peering into the elevator, checking first one side, then the other. No, the cart was definitely unsupervised, just lying in wait for some poor sap to wander into its clutches. Not me, though – no way. I sent that thing away and took the stairs, which were free of perfidious wheelie doodads.

* * * * *

A couple days ago, I noticed a spot on the wall that I hadn’t seen before. I asked J. if he’d ever seen it, and he said no. I "Hmmmm..."d sort of suspiciously but decided not to stress it. Later in the evening, I walked by and checked it out again. This time, my eyes were drawn to the ceiling, and low and behold, I saw this:

I told J. about it as I went to get a bucket. Not too long afterwards, while J. was on the phone with the HOA people, I snapped this picture:

Nasty, eh? Clearly our ceiling is bleeding apple cider.

* * * * *

But yesterday was the last straw. I was doing my laundry, and I was on my last load. When I got to the dryer, I started pulling the clothes out, and I saw this:

Now, maybe it’s just me, but I believe this seriously begs the question: What the hell kind of crazy-ass shenanigans are my clothes up to in the dryer?! There are six – SIX – different articles of clothing involved in that knot, and I won’t even describe the finger contortions required to extricate them all.

I’m telling you, people – strange things are happening around here…


Tandava said...

I suspect the elevator rather than the cart to be the malicious party. It was probably just waiting for someone to help it spit out the tasteless cart so it (the elevator) could consume another victim, preferably one accompanied by less equipment. And as for the clothes, they look to me like a suicidal doll flinging itself out of the dryer and hanging itself.


Lady M said...

Missing any socks? You may have to chase a faun into Narnia, that goaty bastard. ;)