The Coming Out Post

I know, you're all wondering what I mean. "Ooh, what kind of 'coming out' is she talking about?" Because, so far as you're all concerned, I could not possibly mean the most common definition of "coming out," as in "coming out of the closet."

Well you're wrong. I do in fact mean just that. This post is a coming out post in every expected sense of the phrase. Coming out as a homosexual, or maybe a bisexual. Well, coming out by announcing a romantic relationship with a member of the same sex anyway. And I mean relationship, not some random drunken hookup on a dare - the kind of romantic relationship where you start talking about marriage (which is now legal in my fabulous state!) and baby names. Yeah, this is THAT kind of "coming out" post.

However, before you all get too confused, I am not the one coming out - Batman is indeed a man and still my main squeeze (for all he cares, but that's another post). No, it's my sister and her girlfriend who are coming out, and yes, they're both coming out in this post. Let me tell you their story.

Seeser first met Stoops (also known as Jersey Stoops, sometimes just Jersey) when they worked together at a restaurant in Vegas. At the time, Seeser had a boyfriend, but she and Stoops became fast friends. Eventually, Seeser needed to rent her spare room and Stoops needed a place to live, so the two became roommates. There were jokes made about what kind of secret relationship the two might have behind closed doors, but there actually wasn't any truth to it at the time - Seeser was still with her boyfriend, and she and Stoops were really just friends, albeit very close friends.

It wasn't until after Seeser and her boyfriend had broken up that she and Stoops even began to suspect that they might have some feelings for each other. They each denied it internally for a long time because, to them, it made no sense - neither of them had ever really identified as "lesbian" or even had long-term relationships with other women before. And each of them had always imagined her life leading to marriage (with a man) and children, so the idea of a same-sex relationship was unexpected, to say the least.

But eventually, the two realized that their feelings were real - not just a fluke - and admitted to each other that there was something between them. They were well on the way to forming a happy and loving relationship, now that denial was no longer a problem. The only concern now was how to tell the families and close friends. Of course, I'm not sure why they ever worried about it at all, because as it turns out, while they had been completely shocked by their feelings for each other, everyone else had seen it coming for months. My mom was unsurprised, though concerned that if things didn't work out, their friendship would be ruined. Jersey's mom was also not terribly shocked, though her response was, "Does this mean I won't get grandchildren?" And my response - and I quote - "I knew it!"

The people close to them have all been supportive, loving, and - as I said - generally unsurprised. But there is a whole world out there still waiting to judge them, and they worry sometimes. Frankly, I worry too, because the last thing I want is for my sister to feel the harshness of intolerance purely for who she happens to love. When she asked what I thought, I replied quite honestly: "Well, she's nice, employed, educated, unmarried, and she has no criminal record. I'd say after all that, the fact that she has a vagina is pretty secondary."

So last weekend, when I went to Vegas for a family visit, Seeser asked me if I would do a photo shoot of her and Stoops. I said yes, so long as nothing freaky was involved. (Hey, I'm loving and supportive, but that doesn't mean I can't poke fun once in a while.) And you know what? It was remarkable. It was my first real shoot with a couple, and it was so touching. It was also the first time that I've really been able to witness my sister in love with my own eyes. Seeing the way she looks at Jersey - and the way Jersey looks back - really filled me with warmth and joy. And as an official celebration of their public coming out, I'm sharing those pictures with you. Do you see the love?






Congratulations, Seeser and Jersey! I wish you much love and happiness together.